Last year at this time I was obsessively tracking every calorie I ate, weighing my food, and tracking my calories burned. It was all recorded in a spreadsheet where I totaled how many pounds I would lose, gain, or maintain each week. I calculated minutes exercised and I calculated just how many calories those minutes…
A Space Princess Walks Into My Head
Part of finding wholehearted wellness is devoting time to things that align with my values, goals and overall life desires. I want to be a published writer. It is the only vision I’ve ever clearly seen for myself when people ask what I would do if I could do anything. I’d write and people would…
Giving a Damn About Life During Treatment
One of the cool things about getting my mood balanced again is that I’m interested in my surroundings. Specifically, my home. I spent Memorial Day weekend working on some cleaning and organizing projects on the first level of my house. In the last year or so the only things I felt about my house were…
Being Fat and Female in a Gym
When I walked into the gym yesterday morning it was delightfully empty save a few guys and one gal. I was there to lift some weights and then meet up with one of the girls from my small training group to do the stepmill. I don’t know what is about deadlifts that I like, but man, I…
Perfectly ImperfectÂ
I’ve always thought my feet were ugly and weird. It turns out they are just feet. And feet do amazing work. Instead of worrying about the shape of my toes or what sport my feet were built it would be nice to just accept them as they are and do my best to take…
Things That Make Me Tingle
I watched two Brené Brown TED talks last night. My body tingled; my legs went cold though covered in a blanket and my heart starting thunking loudly. After a spirited conversation with myself, I got off the couch, put on my flip flops and went for a walk. (And my feet now have blisters because…
Wrap Me Up in Sheets of Paper
I have a habit of buying notebooks. I don’t know what it is, but I love a new notebook – all those blank pages ready for thoughts, scribbles, lists, dreams, drawings and plots. Tonight, I opened one of the several that was sitting on my desk at home. My plan was to draw out ideas…
Glimpses
I have during the day random glimpses into an alternate life. Whether these shadows are of real moments mixed with TV or book moments, these other places appear in my conscious mind on a regular basis. Sometimes, it’s a theater or a restaurant. A pub or a sidewalk. I am always satisfied.
Goal, Intention, Resolution Things for 2015
This year, 2014, I had a list of things I wanted to accomplish. It included trying CrossFit (I did it! Loved it until I overdid it and hurt my back [my fault, not CrossFit’s] — more on that later maybe someday.) Here’s my shameless plug for CrossFit 816 in Kansas City. So for this the…
Awake
For the first time since my mom died, I feel the Christmas spirit. This will be the third Christmas without her and we didn’t even spend her last Christmas together — well, we did virtually on the phone and via Skype (I also got drunk on white wine surrounded by my extended family.) We had…