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Posts Tagged ‘year in review’

  1. A Good Look Behind

    January 1, 2010 by Blondette

    Here I am 2010. Yes, I’m sitting here in my red chair near my fire thinking “what do I look at now?” I’m watching Season 3 of the West Wing and feeling pride in the things I accomplished today – January 1, 2010. A new decade emerges and I sit only one year away from the age of 30. I expect a lot of myself in 2010 and I hope I don’t let myself down.

    I entered 2009 on painkillers, dozing on my couch all alone (except for the cats.) I entered 2010 dozing on my couch, all alone….except for the cats. Hmm. I won’t predict what is to come in 2010. I’ve never been good at that. I only hope that the things I learned in the previous years lead me to happiness, wisdom, and prosperity.

    Already in 2010 I’m much more confident in where I stand in life. I entered 2009 off a rocky (on the rocks too many times) 2008. I’m still reconciling the changes (not the no drinking thing I did – that was really good for me. It was good to stop and make sure I wasn’t masking emotions (and I was).) and trying to understand how I “fit” with people. I’ve never been good at reaching out to people even if I want to. I suppose some of that is most related to my introversion.

    So, honestly, I wasn’t very happy when 2009 started. My personal relationships were all strained or broken, my jaw hurt like a bitch (both before and after my wisdom teeth were removed), and I was hoping to find my place in work and life. As the months progressed, I worked through emotions, situations, and spent a lot of time recharging. I’m not where I want to be in every facet of life, but I’m closer. I wish I could turn some things back, I wish I could turn some things forward. For now, I just have to focus on each day. Focus on each piece. And then hope the pieces fit together somehow.

    Here’s a few highlights from 2009:

    • I started tweeting more. Follow me here: Katie Leas  is trmndsblndtte on Twitter
    • I traveled more. I will be traveling just as much if not more in 2010. My ass is gonna be a Vegas pro – without the gambling because I don’t gamble.
    • My 10 year high school reunion was held in August. I did not attend. Sorry Trojans.
    • I had all 4 wisdom teeth removed. HORRIBLE. HORRIBLE. HORRIBLE. I did knit a hat and a couple scarves though. They look like someone on lots of painkillers made them.
    • I bought a house.
    • I bought things for a house.
    • The letter of the year was F. FML, OMFG. etc. Note, I do not use either expression. In fact, I’m against FML and tend to want to hit just about everyone who uses it. (only one exception)
    • I bought a new car. (traded my 05 Scion tC for an 09 Nissan Altima – shocking, I know. I wish I could have kept tC. I miss her.)
    • I saw my dad for the first time in 12 years. (made my brother’s wedding a bit emotional)
    • I spent a holiday with my dad for the first time in 20 years.
    • I met (again) my step-sister and her family. I found out they’re really pretty wonderful and I feel lucky that my dad had them. I feel guilty that I wasn’t there for 22 years of his life. Sad that we all missed out on knowing each other and being part of each other’s lives. But here we are now, moving forward and learning. It’s harder for me than I realized.
    • My brother got married in July ( I was in the wedding. All pictures of me = horrible.) (I drove to Springfield a lot. I found out I can make it there in 2.5 hours.)
    • My best friend got married in November ( I was in the wedding. Pictures of me are better.) She seems very happy which makes me happy.
    • I got a new cell phone. I got an iPhone. My BlackBerry wasn’t keeping up with my mobile needs.

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  2. New Furniture for a Real Adult Katie

    December 23, 2009 by Blondette

    I’m still putting my house together, but today my new couch, chair, and ottoman arrived! Special thanks to my cousin Kiera and uncle Jim for hanging out at my house and waiting for the delivery people so I could be a workaholic! (it was a productive day!)

    The furniture is nice and cozy, soft and comfy. Note the strategic position of the chair and ottoman near the fireplace. Accident, I think not. I may do some additional angling of the couch and chair once I take the Christmas tree down. Oh, and yes, I need to put something on my walls.

    (PS. The lamp you can kind of see in the last picture is the same lamp you can see in Penny’s apartment on The Big Bang Theory. I had it first.)

    ADMIRE MY PICTURES…NOW!

    Katie Leas has a lovely living room as you can see from the comfort of her chair. Yes, that is Glee on the tv.

    Katie Leas has a lovely living room as you can see from the comfort of her chair. Yes, that is Glee on the tv.

    My mantle is pretty.

    My mantle is pretty.

    This might become part of my next header. This is the view from my new chair.

    This might become part of my next header. This is the view from my new chair.

    Katie is all growed up and has a new living room set - yes, new furniture. I shall know the origins of all stains!

    Katie is all growed up and has a new living room set - yes, new furniture. I shall know the origins of all stains!

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  3. I’m Gonna Change My Clothes Tonight

    October 28, 2009 by Blondette

    Yes, I’ve been wearing the same clothes for 2 days in a row. They are officially my painting and moving clothes. And yes, they officially smell…bad. Dirt, sweat, paint, and “go get em attitude” sure can make a girl attractive! Soon, I shall shower and put on clean panties, socks, and a t-shirt. It will be beautiful.

    I’ve forgotten Monday night, but on Tuesday I know I started moving things from my apartment to my new house. This involves walking down a flight of stairs, around a building, and to a car…and repeat. It gets old. And tiring. More than once I said to myself, “why did I stop running?” and “I don’t remember it being so taxing when I moved the last time, but I was much more physically fit.” I am remembering the definition of “muscle” and “muscle memory.” And sore. Shockingly, my left shoulder is snapping up a storm now from carrying the 6+ bags of clothes dead body style. (that was a taste of sarcasm- I have a shoulder “thing” that I should have had checked out about 4 years ago when I was weight training.)

    Last night, I moved the cats over to the new house amid howls of joy. That was the sound of joy I listened to during the entire 15 minute car ride, right? Anyhow, I got them to the house, we slept on the floor for about 4 hours and then got up, showered and put on our moving clothes and started getting ready for the movers. My movers turned out to be pretty nice guys (okay, one of them was totally cute and my type, and probably a good 3 or more years younger…wait, that’s my type isn’t it? see also Chipotle cashier and Marine at OFR.) They were fast and efficient and one of them is supposed to return on Friday to buy my spare washer and dryer. (and yes, I am totally taking less money for them because he’s cute and he’s saving me from having to deal with them.)

    Anyhow, most of my stuff is now out of my apartment (ugh ugh whine ugh ugh) and I just need to vacuum and clean and I’m DONE. It feels like it will never end. Meanwhile, I’m also setting stuff up at the new house. Here are some pictures of my two day fest of smelly.

    Packing process of joy. Waiting for the movers. And more sorting and stacking.

    Packing process of joy. Waiting for the movers. And more sorting and stacking.

    You're doing something. What you doing?

    You're doing something. What you doing?

    Getting there at the new house...yes, same couch...for now. New couch and chair don't arrive until right before Christmas.

    Getting there at the new house...yes, same couch...for now. New couch and chair don't arrive until right before Christmas.

    My dining room. Look I haz a table! Can you spot the cat?

    My dining room. Look I haz a table! Can you spot the cat?

    View from the kitchen...getting there...really, I am!

    View from the kitchen...getting there...really, I am!

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  4. I’m a Travelin Band and You’re My Groupies

    October 5, 2009 by Blondette

    I was reading archived posts the other day and saw a “You Might Be Katie Leas if” where I mentioned something about not liking to fly and not liking to travel. Amazing how time goes.

    This summer I traveled to Orlando, New York City, and Las Vegas for work. I find I’ve traveled enough in the last 3 years that I get huffy with slow people in the security line, I no longer feel I’m jinxing myself if I don’t sit attentively watching the security review on the plane, I don’t freak out when I see people using their cell phones during the flight,  I don’t need Xanax to fly, and I kinda like airport shops (okay TRUTH, I’ve always liked the airport shops and I like night flights)

    Places I’ve been thanks to work:

    • Fort Lauderdale, FL
    • New Orleans, LA
    • Seattle, WA
    • Indianapolis, IN
    • Minneapolis/St. Paul, MN
    • Las Vegas, NV
    • Orlando, FL
    • New York City, NY

    Here’s a few photo highlights from my travels.

    Orlando

    My visit in June was a first for me. I’d never been to the city that housed Disney World. Oh man, there was a Rugrats hotel. We stayed at a nice hotel and had to drive to the conference hotel- it was a LONG few days and it ate up a weekend plus a couple work days, but it was definitely worth it. I actually really working the booth at shows. I ended up in one of the industry publications Vanna-ing our wares. (We were promoting our site SchoolBlender with margaritas…I posed and then provided a quote for the caption and we won first place)

    My hotel in Orlando had lots of foliage. I didn't realize this was a normal thing but apparently it is.

    My hotel in Orlando had lots of foliage. I didn't realize this was a normal thing but apparently it is.

    We took clients to dinner the night after I'd worked the booth all day. I helped tear down and ended up going back to my hotel to change before dinner. It was a Japanese Steakhouse, aka HEAVEN.

    We took clients to dinner the night after I'd worked the booth all day. I helped tear down and ended up going back to my hotel to change before dinner. It was a Japanese Steakhouse, aka HEAVEN.

    Out of sequence, but this was Gayla's drink at the sushi bar in our hotel. We stopped there for lunch after we put up the booth. I had a headache at this point but managed to get over it. We had enough time to bathe and change before heading back over to start meetings and conference time. Pretty drink. Sake involved. I complimented the waitress on her shirt and then realized it was a uniform shirt. Felt stupid. But had food. and flowery drink

    Out of sequence, but this was Gayla's drink at the sushi bar in our hotel. We stopped there for lunch after we put up the booth. I had a headache at this point but managed to get over it. We had enough time to bathe and change before heading back over to start meetings and conference time. Pretty drink. Sake involved. I complimented the waitress on her shirt and then realized it was a uniform shirt. Felt stupid. But had food. and flowery drink

    This is what we saw while waiting for our breakfast meetings. I'm really not a huge fan of palm trees.

    This is what we saw while waiting for our breakfast meetings. I'm really not a huge fan of palm trees.

    Our give away at the exhibit hall- one was spiked and one wasn't. Our cups were hypercolor. Trust me, the give away was relevant. It was also a good way to get people to stop and talk. I'm a good little booth girl. It was pretty much non-stop talking for me.

    Our give away at the exhibit hall- one was spiked and one wasn't. Our cups were hypercolor. Trust me, the give away was relevant. It was also a good way to get people to stop and talk. I'm a good little booth girl. It was pretty much non-stop talking for me.

    New York City

    OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG *pinch* Dude, I’m in Harlem?! OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG Is that Central Park? OMG OMG OMG Am I getting ripped off? All the literature says this cab ride shouldn’t cost more than $40. I hope I don’t get ripped off. OMG OMG OMG I’M IN NEW YORK CITY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

    I’m smooth, huh? That’s kind of how my brain was working when I landed at LaGuardia. NYC is an epic city. You have Rome, Athens, Pompeii, Constantinople, and…New York City.  As you may have guessed from my sauve-ty, it was my first visit to New York City.

    This was the view my hotel- there was always some sort of traffic. I stayed at the Marriott Marquis in Time Square. I'm underprivelged.

    This was the view my hotel- there was always some sort of traffic. I stayed at the Marriott Marquis in Time Square. I'm underprivelged.

    Pigeons > Seagulls. My first up close and personal with real NYC Pigeons. I was sitting outside at Starbucks being stood up for a meeting. But there was a latte and pigeons!

    Pigeons > Seagulls. My first up close and personal with real NYC Pigeons. I was sitting outside at Starbucks being stood up for a meeting. But there was a latte and pigeons!

    We stumbled past NBC studios and such on our way back to the hotel after visiting St. Patrick's Cathedral. So much walking. And Rockafeller Center was very small. I'm still not conviced that I saw the real Rockafeller Center. Treachery.

    We stumbled past NBC studios and such on our way back to the hotel after visiting St. Patrick's Cathedral. So much walking. And Rockafeller Center was very small. I'm still not conviced that I saw the real Rockafeller Center. Treachery.

    We cabbed it over to the area that allowed us to walk up to Ground Zero. It wasn't what I expected but the construction is deep. You can't see much other than lots of construction. Not sure how they are going to get it done by 2011.

    We cabbed it over to the area that allowed us to walk up to Ground Zero. It wasn't what I expected but the construction is deep. You can't see much other than lots of construction. Not sure how they are going to get it done by 2011.

    A memorial near Ground Zero for firefighters. I teared up. Seeing names always does that. Names make them people. Which makes me sad.

    A memorial near Ground Zero for firefighters. I teared up. Seeing names always does that. Names make them people. Which makes me sad.

    Nope, that's not a dirty spot, that's Lady Liberty. Hey! Our cabbie was very tourguidey and drove us over to Battery Park and told us all kinds of things that I've since forgotten. I do remember that he works in IT too and he's bringing his family over from India finally.

    Nope, that's not a dirty spot, that's Lady Liberty. Hey! Our cabbie was very tourguidey and drove us over to Battery Park and told us all kinds of things that I've since forgotten. I do remember that he works in IT too and he's bringing his family over from India finally.

    Columns at St. Patrick's

    Columns at St. Patrick's

    Stained glass window at St. Patrick's. I couldn't come close with my camera phone to capturing the color.

    Stained glass window at St. Patrick's. I couldn't come close with my camera phone to capturing the color.

    Take my breath away. Nope, not a cheesey love scene. Amazing wowness inside St. Patrick's Cathedral.

    Take my breath away. Nope, not a cheesey love scene. Amazing wowness inside St. Patrick's Cathedral.

    A shot to the back of the church toward the organ. This was my favorite view. I was in awe. It was breathtaking. I may have thanked God a little that day.

    A shot to the back of the church toward the organ. This was my favorite view. I was in awe. It was breathtaking. I may have thanked God a little that day.

    Las Vegas

    YAWN. I’ve done this before that whole one other time last year. I’m a pro. Well, okay, not a pro but I learned a few things about Vegas that helped me have a more enjoyable experience. No matter how short the distance looks, you should never try to walk from Planet Hollywood to Mandalay Bay. For the love of God, wear decent shoes. (I rocked my cowboy boots with a black dress.) Your room will never be 100% dark.

    I had an interesting room at Bally's in Vegas. I'd never use the giant jetted tub because doubt they clean it well enough to convince me they've washed away all of the sin. The bathroom was setup funny and there were A LOT of mirrors. The room was also never fully dark and I had an obscured view of the front of the Bellagio and got to see the fountains from my room. All in all, not bad for a gal. This is the only picture I have for you. What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas! (lame. actually there really wasn't anything to capture. I tweeted and blogged the actual event.)

    I had an interesting room at Bally's in Vegas. I'd never use the giant jetted tub because doubt they clean it well enough to convince me they've washed away all of the sin. The bathroom was setup funny and there were A LOT of mirrors. The room was also never fully dark and I had an obscured view of the front of the Bellagio and got to see the fountains from my room. All in all, not bad for a gal. This is the only picture I have for you. What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas! (lame. actually there really wasn't anything to capture. I tweeted and blogged the actual event.)

    Those are just a few snippets from my travel. I feel lucky. I no longer hate to travel. I never did really hate it- I was just afraid because it was a rarity. When I was 8, they made us do tumbling in gym class and I was terrified of doing somersaults and forward rolls. (never got over skinning the cat). Once I tried it, I was a tumbling fool. I setup a mattress thing in our living room at home and would just fill my days with forward rolls. Quit while I’m ahead with the anecdote, yeah?

    Category blah blah, Favorite Posts | Tags: ,,, | 3 Comments

  5. But I Still Haven’t Found What I’m Looking For

    March 6, 2009 by Blondette

    While holding a paperback at Target, skimming the first chapter of what is best termed “chick-lit” (not to be mistaken for Chicklets the delightful square sugary shove as many in your mouth as possible and chew for approximately 5 minutes before the flavor is gone gum) I for a few moments, disconnected from myself. But where have I been?

    I keep trying to find pretty words and explain everything, but why? Do you really need to read though my convuluted, unhealthy thought process? The simple truth of the matter is I had a couple of bad experiences in December that caused me to hate myself and lose some friends and I’ve been dealing with those feelings all year. On top of work, wisdom teeth, Weight Watchers, and getting sick repeatedly, I’ve been trying to get to my Denouement.

    I’m conflicted with wanting my friends back (if they will have me, which is a BIG if) and wondering if it will lead me right back to where I was last year and derail my current life corrections quest.

    I would say that I’m living in a bit of fear of making mistakes and taking other people with me. In essence, I’m afraid of myself and hurting people again.

    I didn’t write about 2008 during its waning moments; in fact, I will call 2008 a year of lessons that I did not want to learn. It was a year where I found out more about myself than I’m comfortable knowing; a mirror too true to deny any longer. The seven deadly sins, the ten commandments, the golden rule- all tested in 2008.

    I’ve tried to reconcile what I think I know about myself and what I have seen of myself. The end of 2008 was what I would call my moment of “rock bottom.” Haven’t I done this before? Is this going to keep happening?

    At 28, I cannot relate to my peers. Normalcy so long sought, still unattained. When I lose the ability to relate, I become a fuzzy whisper of myself. I lose my sense of belonging and status.

    Instead, I connect most fully with that which is not real; books, television, movies, everything a mirage. A wooden puppet wants most what it cannot have, humanity.

    I learned that I do not face up to my own anger. I never have. I let it burn.

    Lately, my dreams give me a hope and sadness that I cannot shake until long after my morning coffee. To see me at work during the day, humming and keying formulas into spreadsheets you’d think I was someone else.

    To gently ruin one’s own life is actually quite easy. It is as easy as a bottle of vodka. I am one of those people who has trouble with moderation. I become someone I hate, untrue to my core and wicked in my turn. I abuse in an effort to hide, calm, and exhilarate.

    We can not take back that which we have done.

    There are things we’d never think ourselves capable of, but we are all flawed. We are all human. We are not as good as we think.

    For most of 2008, I knew I was not living as I wanted to live- there are plenty of posts on this lovely blog detailing the goals and dreams I have. What you don’t see are the posts that never made it past draft status that were written following any of the stumbles I’d taken.

    Shame is an interesting ally. Now in 2009, I’ve undertaken healthier initiatives as I work my way back to not just good physical health, but good mental health. I’m working on feeling worthwhile and forgiving myself–it’s not working so great right now.

    The title of this post is a song by U2. I can’t help but remember a chain of emails between friends where several people talked about how much they hated the band U2 and then there was much quoting of lyrics (not just U2). Why do I remember it, and why can’t I go back? Would I go back?

    I look at how I’ve matured in certain areas of my life: fiscal responsibility, work responsibility, but yet, I went backward in other areas of life. I regressed socially and interpersonally.

    I don’t think I even know the answers to my questions. I keep writing and trying to figure out what I think and feel about everything and how to write it in a way that does not garner feelings of hostility in my readers. Instead, I hope they will read and understand where I’ve been, where I’m going, and why things have changed.


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