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Posts Tagged ‘self discovery’

  1. The Hunt: Why Employers Should Consider More Than My Resume

    October 11, 2011 by Blondette

    If you search “Katie Leas“ in Google you find me. In fact, you find this blog. *sweeping beauty queen arm gesture, aka, how I greet people who enter my office* WELCOME!

    First, I’m not committing social media faux paus. My boss knows I’m searching for a new job. In fact, everyone has been supportive about my decision to do something new. So, potential employer or potential employer HR representative, let me answer the question you are now dying to ask:  Why are you leaving your current job? I’m so glad you asked! As a child you never realize how much your parents or other adults “are” their job. The Katie that started at the company 6 years ago is not the Katie of late 2011 – and that’s okay. But in this case, it means Katie is looking for something different in her life. To get back into first person, I miss feeling passionate about my work.

    Lesson #1: I’m a learning nerd. I love to problem solve and I love to dig, analyze, and synthesize. I love to share information about which I am passionate. That can be language, nutrition, exercise, super-nerdy science stuff, software, how to build a website, or reality television.

    Lesson #2:  My career dream is to be a writer in the vein of Jen Lancaster or Bill Bryson. That’s right. I will likely someday want to leave your company – and that’s okay.

    Lesson #2.5:  I am strongly compelled to share my love of language and communication. I believe that a firm grasp on language can leapfrog your life. I believe in short answer and essay tests instead of multiple choice tests.

    What you can’t get from a piece of paper where I try to cram transferableskillsandachievementsandeducationandcareerobjectives in hopes of impressing you is my unbridled zeal. I think and feel with everything I’ve got – and it’s a lot.

    I blog as an outlet. I blog as an exercise. I blog because writing and communication is an essential component of Katie.

    I participate in social media. I am a person. I will not suppress that need to share and connect.

    Lesson #3:  I love lists! And outlines! Most of the time my thoughts are swirling around, fast and bouncy, and I have to force them into order. Lists and outlines create discrete tasks and keep information in a logical, natural order. So, here’s a list for you that won’t appear on a resume, but is every bit as much “me” as the transferableskillsandachievementsandeducationandcareerobjectives that fit on one page.

    Favorite Movies:

    Favorite TV Shows

    • The West Wing – all time favorite
    • Modern Family
    • How I Met Your Mother
    • Parenthood

    Favorite Sport

    • Currently, soccer. SportingKC games are really fun. And I *still* can’t get over the fact that there’s a player with the last name of Bunbury.

    Favorite Book

    • TRICK QUESTION! A Walk in the Woods, Les Miserables, Such a Pretty Fat, Harry Potter x 8 (again), The Book Thief, Firefly Summer

    Favorite Shoes

    • My rusty cowboy boots

    Hobbies:

    • trying to run, trying new things, reading, staring at my cats, the Internets, learning, writing, drinking coffee

     

    You will miss out if you do not try to hire me. I will work hard for you. I will work smart for you. I will be grateful every day that you took a chance on me.

    Category Life Lessons, You Might be Katie Leas | Tags: ,, | No Comments

  2. Letters to the Tremendous, from Blondette

    October 19, 2010 by Blondette

    Dear Tremendous,

    Yes, that’s you. I know I usually write to the unwashed masses or Jen Lancaster (I seriously have to stop associating Jen Lancaster to the unwashed masses and people with bad toilet etiquette – I’d be getting a complex.) What else? Oh yes. Well, Jen Lancaster wrote about creepy and awful letters and emails on her blog yesterday. This was after a series of tweets in the same vein. Apparently, she’s received more than one crazed letter/email of late and had had enough! Good for her, but it caused an OH SHIT moment for me. Despite what some boys men boys males may think, my main goal in life is not to be a creepy stalker type.

    First, I’ve never emailed JL. I simply write letters to the “great Jen Lancaster in the sky.” She probably hasn’t read them. (though for a sad 5 minutes last night I thought she was following the KC_JenLancaster Twitter account – and then I looked more closely and realized I was on “Following” not “Followers.”)

    I don’t show up in the first 5 pages on Google searches for Jen Lancaster. (and really? no one is getting that far.) However, I am first for Letters to Jen Lancaster. Because I’m sure a TON of people search that. I want to come off as quipppy and quirky, but genuine and respectful. Do I want her to come to KC for her next book tour? yes. But Kansas City is a great city with an amazing community of readers, writers, and well, just about everything else that makes a city vibrant and warm. This is home.

    I write my letters because I want to express something. Do something. The follower base is very small, which just means I must kind of suck at PR or online marketing implementation (shit.) I don’t want to be Jen Lancaster’s best friend. But there’s something about seeing an actual flesh and blood person versus black ink on printed paper. Words are not voice. Humanity. I live in books. They keep me from truly doing the hard stuff. Hurting people, hurting myself. It’s about writing. Trying. Finding some pathway to feeling and understanding.

    I write to Jen Lancaster for me. Because I am a writer.

    And I hope that if she ever does read my letters or my blog that she sees the heart of the matter.

    I’m just an almost-thirty, not quite blonde, not quite brunette, wanted to be Felicity Porter or Donna Moss…gal.

    Maybe I just wrote my un-letter to Jen Lancaster.

    Truestly yours,

    Blondette aka Katie

    (also, the title makes me think of Sonnets from the Portuguese which you should totally read.)

    Category Letters to Jen Lancaster, writing | Tags: , | No Comments

  3. July 29, 2010 by Blondette

    Until yesterday, I’d never cried on an airplane. In fact, I try to keep crying, particularly crying in public, to a minimum. It embarrasses me and the shame and awkwardness I feel is just unnecessary when I already feel shame and awkwardness due to my weight. I went through a phase where nothing reached me and I simply did not feel that burning leap that comes with the rush of whatever happy or sad emotion generates the crying response. And then it was back. And it was really back. So back that very small things would bubble up. In fact, I can’t card shop at Hallmark these days without welling up (I’m not kidding here, just so you know.)

    On that flight I came to realize that I’m depressed. Officially and completely, depressed. The signs and symptoms have been around for months, but I’ve been trying to slog through them and for whatever reason, I am simply no longer able to “slog.” If I’m not sad, I’m angry. If I’m not angry, I’m anxious. I have no motivation to keep a clean house or make myself presentable. It’s some sort of miracle that I’ve kept any momentum on eating healthier and exercising given my motivation issues. I can only hope this means that the worst has come and I’m pulling out of the trance because I’m doing something to save myself.

    So now, I look to my family, friends, God, and I turn inward…and I take Xanax.

    Category heart of the matter | Tags: ,,,, | No Comments

  4. The More They Stay the Same

    June 17, 2010 by Blondette

    I ended up starting a new blog for all of my “I’m soo fat! *waaaah waaaah waaahh*” posts. On it, I actually will talk about my continued quest to eat healthy and figure out how to incorporate exercise back into my life. Here’s the URL: http://fatladykatie.wordpress.com/

    It’s the busy season at work (yes, I know it’s always busy, but this is the busiest!) so I’m doing a lot more traveling and pulling longer (yes, it’s possible) hours than usual. I struggled earlier this year with balance and motivation. As I approach my 30th birthday I spend more time evaluating my goals and the current state of my life. I’ve devoted my twenties to my career, but I also know that as a woman, the longer I wait to fulfill my other goals/dreams of having a family, the harder it will be to fulfill them. It’s scary. It’s scary to think that I may never have those other things and that I will have to seek purpose and joy from my career alone. I’m pretty sure the consistent weight gain of the past 7 months is directly correlated to my stress over my life evaluation. I stop and wonder “who’s going to want me?” It depresses me so I put it out of my mind and focus on something else – thus avoiding the problem all together.

    So, what do you do readers? How do you face the music?

    Also, I’m blonde again.

    Category blah blah, Life Lessons | Tags: ,,,,, | No Comments

  5. Hourly Rates

    March 7, 2010 by Blondette

    A phenomena that I’ve observed since adulthood – things I would say, do, or feel are different based on the time of day. I don’t wake up wanting to go to happy hour in the evening. I feel like sitting in my big red chair with coffee and my laptop until my own odor motivates me to bathe.

    What I write in a post is different based on the time of day and I often work on a post several times before I actually publish it so it gets some of the morning me and nighttime me. Balance, just for you. *wink*

    I am much more forthright at night or after half a pot of coffee. (or 10 drinks) I’ve discovered an inability to share specific thoughts and feelings only in certain situations. Work and family – you got it. Friends and “friends” – there is a hesitation at times – a fear.

    That same shield I use in those relationships covers this blog. I could write with greater directness and clarity at times, but to what end?

    When I was 10, 12, 18, who knows at this point, I used to soak up the sunshine with CMT or the radio and just absorb the time. Today, as I work through all of the clothing and linens I own (Day 2!) it’s the same feeling – years later, my gut hurts, my lungs twitch, and my eyes water. Looking through my cousin’s pictures on Facebook, seeing her life and knowing the somewhat normal path she will have puts me in a little bit of a funk.

    One of my biggest hangups in life, the one for which I’m still stuck, is the normalcy the “how did I deviate from that?” Why not me? I tried to catch up very quickly in college and succeeded in only superficial ways. It wasn’t what I wanted. It wasn’t what I needed. And then I gave up. I lost hope. And the I regained it…and lost it. I continue to live this cycle.

    I’m letting the sun into my bedroom and I look out and see a man running and something inside kicks. (no, I’m not pregnant) I try too hard to make things happen. To make them what I picture. To make them what I see around me.

    On a good note, I’m organizing and purging so I’m not hanging on to old things. But what do you do when there’s old stuff you want to hang on to? Stuff you shouldn’t. Stuff you should put down in peace.

    At what point do we both feel and express our emotions – fully, deeply – and at what point do we let our rational thought quell the emotional bits? When is it okay to feel and act without restraint? And if we never let ourselves feel or act, do we cheat ourselves and keep spinning, a blur of hope, joy, love, fear, anger, disappointment and sadness?

    Category blah blah, Life Lessons | Tags: ,,, | No Comments

  6. How I Can Make a Difference

    January 30, 2010 by Blondette

    QBQ! The Question Behind the Question: Practicing Personal Accountability in Work and in Life QBQ! The Question Behind the Question: Practicing Personal Accountability in Work and in Life by John G. Miller

    My rating: 4 of 5 stars
    My company used to have a book club in which the entire staff participated. Prior to my becoming a full time employee with the company and being included in this activity, they read “QBQ!” The book continues to be referenced by executive management and our Account Service Department is reading the book together. Well, I couldn’t be left out, so I had to buy it and read it for myself. I learned a few of the principles in this book though my own failings earlier in life (okay, within the last 12 years) and truly believe in the power of personal accountability. I take away an even greater depth to some of the basics I’ve already embraced and something I can share as I coach my team at work. No, I can’t change them, but I can share this book. Favorites for me: you always have a choice (I’ve been saying this for years.) Stress is a choice. Think in “I” terms not them. Do not adopt victim mentality. It’s energizing to read a book and flip your thinking.

    View all my reviews >>

    Category Book Reviews | Tags: ,,,, | 2 Comments

  7. This Little Life of Mine…I’m Gonna Let it Shine

    January 10, 2010 by Blondette

    I spent many hours watching “This Emotional Life” on KCPT2 (local PBS) today. It was well constructed and interesting, but then again, I’m into psychology and educational television. (When I don’t have cable, I tend to watch lots of public television.)

    Back on track, the show is actually a series in 3 parts (and I saw all 3.) It dives into human social interaction and emotions, balancing theory with case studies and research.

    The good news? You can watch it online. I encourage you to check it out.

    http://www.pbs.org/thisemotionallife/

    Category blah blah | Tags: , | No Comments

  8. Fears to face in 2010

    December 22, 2009 by Blondette

    Fear can hold you back or make you stronger. It is your choice. Okay so I’m still afraid of or don’t enjoy heights or amusement parks but I tried them. I faced them.

    Here’s a few fears I plan to address in 2010 – with a giant RAWR right in their faces – there might even be a little spit too.

    1. Personal trainer. I have always been too wimpy and self indulgent to try working with a personal trainer. I’m afraid of being pushed, being uncomfortable, being less than great at something, and not being in control. The sad thing is by giving in to that fear I cheat myself of the progress and strength I could be gaining.

    2. Telling people how I feel. Yep. I have trouble with simple stuff. I tend to fear rejection and ridicule and make myself less open.

    Category blah blah, Life Lessons | Tags: , | 1 Comment

  9. Worth a Thousand

    October 15, 2009 by Blondette

    Me with the key to my house. They aren't lying when they say you have to sign a lot of papers. And initial. I started misspelling my last name-- all FOUR letters of it. And Catherine is a kind of a long first name. But there I am with my key! My reward for not so awesome penmanship and a few thousand dollars. (or so) My hair looks great!

    Me with the key to my house. They aren't lying when they say you have to sign a lot of papers. And initial. I started misspelling my last name-- all FOUR letters of it. And Catherine is a kind of a long first name. But there I am with my key! My reward for not so awesome penmanship and a few thousand dollars. (or so) My hair looks great!

    Okay, well now I’m off to go play at Home Depot and Hobby Lobby. tee hee.

    Category Life Lessons | Tags: ,,,, | 2 Comments

  10. When I Was a Dave Matthews Band Fangirl

    October 3, 2009 by Blondette

    I was just watching DMB (Dave Matthews Band) on Austin City Limits and it’s the first time since the death of LeRoi Moore than I’ve watched the band. I was DEVOTED to this band through college. I drove to Chicago, Nashville, St. Louis to see them. (doesn’t sound so impressive when I see it typed out- but keep in mind I drove those distances alone in my little Saturn…yeah, still not that impressive.) I thought about trips to further destinations but time and money were factors.

    I connected with the music. The lyrics, the rhythm, the melody the emotion.

    My first real exposure was when my flute teacher gave me a cassette tape of Crash so I could listen to the sax. (“LeRoi Moore on the saxophone!”) It was cool, but I wasn’t hooked at that point. Sometime in college I started to listen to them more and then I had a neighbor who was a bit of a fanboy and my crush on him didn’t hurt my growing like for the band. He showed me new ways to get the music, a community of people who followed the band, and then it was pretty much settled: I was a Dave Matthews Band fangirl.

    I waded into the forums and eventually became a well-known top poster. I met people from the boards at the shows. I got very close with several people throughout the time. In fact today, I am still in contact with some of the people I met through the boards. I know of several marriages and relationships that were formed through the boards and meet-ups that occurred. People  found their best friends and soulmates because of the Internet and The Dave Matthews Band.

    I devoured anything Dave Matthews or Dave Matthews Band. I had stickers on my car. I had all of the music, including the things you could only get online or from other sources. Rare tune or show, got it. One of the great things about DMB was their openness to sharing live recordings of their music. It’s how they spread. In the community, you were elite if you were pals with or were a taper.

    There were levels of fans; real fans with live shows quoting date and location and then there were the Crash girls- the stereotype frat boys and sorority girls. There is a stereotype associated with DMB fans: pot smoking, drunks. While it’s true that there are some people who fit this mold (yes, I meant to leave out the “u”), a lot of the fans are just your everyday (hahaha) folks going to school and work.

    But I tell you, I knew people of all ages, backgrounds, and income level and they were all in it for the same reason I was: they connected with the music. Some people outgrew the music and the band. That’s okay. What they didn’t out grow was the other fans.

    Somewhere along the road of the past 3 years I’ve lost a few things; my workout routine and DMB included. I still get that jolt when I hear DMB on the radio, my iPod, or in a store but they don’t dominate my music listening habits.

    I’ve never felt the need to meet the band, in fact, it kind of scared me. If I ever did I’d likely say thanks for making music because it brought me a connection to people I wouldn’t have known. It made me part of a community. It gave my emotions melody.

    Category blah blah, Life Lessons | Tags: ,, | 2 Comments

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