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Posts Tagged ‘adult’

  1. Itchy

    December 3, 2011 by Blondette

    Something has been bugging me all day.

    I almost cried.

    So here’s what happened. A few weeks ago I went to my friend’s Celebrating Home party. You know the type, there’s a catalog and a bunch of women and food and drink. I wasn’t very excited to attend because I shouldn’t be spending money and I knew I’d feel obligated to do so. But I went because it was important to my friend. Well, part of the party involved a game that basically locked you into having your own party unless you were one of the 10% who didn’t get the “host a party” message in your gift box. I could have given the box back but I HAD TO KNOW WHAT IT CONTAINED! Stupid curiosity.

    So, I booked a party.

    I don’t host a lot of guests. I like having people over, but I’m awful with timing and people never seem to want to come to my house. (Probably because I have 3 cats and live way up north – I get it.) When I emailed out the invites I didn’t get a lot of “yes” results, but I got a few. So, I pressed on with preparation because by that point, I was kind of looking forward to having people over. I spent an entire day and the following morning cleaning my house. (Because I have pets I wanted to make sure I was really diligent in the scrubbing so 1) it wouldn’t be super obvious that I have pets 2) people would feel relaxed at ease).)

    Maybe I picked a bad day and time. Just because 11am on a Saturday is good for me doesn’t mean it is for others. Unless it’s something they want to do like watch a football game.

    I sat with my super clean house, food cooking, and drinks and cups ready to go. My house smelled lovely and warm and my Christmas decorations twinkled. I hovered and perched with my eyes darting toward the open front door. 11:04, eh, it’s raining and that’s margin of error. 11:11, eh. 11:15..hmm. 11:20, I, I, I don’t think anyone is coming. 11:30, I guess I have to call it.

    No one came. (except my friend the designer)

    Only one person  out of 4 who said yes contacted me to tell me they weren’t going to show up.

    What happened to people that they aren’t considerate enough to let someone know that they aren’t going to come to the party they RSVP’d for, the party someone spent HOURS cleaning for, and  the party spent mucho dinero to buy supplies for? Do people not think about the work, time, and money that goes into having people over? Maybe I would have preferred doing something else with my Saturday morning too.  I could have canceled the party. It would have felt better. I missed my class at the gym because people said they were coming. My friend was happy because her enthusiasm had waned and she no longer wanted to do the party, but I couldn’t even verbalize my disappointment to her. Did she not stop to think how it must have felt to have worked so hard and had no one show up? It’s like being stood up on a date. But I didn’t say anything and that’s on me.

    I felt like an idiot. Not only were my feelings hurt, but I started to doubt myself. If someone didn’t want to come, why didn’t they just come out and be honest about it? And if they decided to flake day of? Why not email, text, call, or Facebook to say “sorry, I can’t come.”

    I spent a lot of the day trying to brush away my feelings of anger, shame, and disappointment. “Come on Katie, it’s silly to care. It’s silly to feel hurt about this.” Only, it’s not because it’s how I feel. And people SHOULD feel bad. (except the person who did text me)

    I tried to spin it into positive and keep my chin up. My house is super clean and that’s awesome. I have plenty of booze and booze supplies for holiday gatherings. I didn’t have to have awkward moments where people didn’t want to buy stuff.

    Maybe what bothered me most was that I wouldn’t treat anyone that way. So why did they think it was okay to treat me that way? And why do I feel bad that I might make them feel bad for making me feel bad? And all I really still feel is “God, I suck at life.” I don’t suck at life, but I sure seem to suck at social life. Events like this make me want to say “Fuck people.” Only, I can’t. I won’t. I’ll still smile and be upbeat and be kind and generous. Even when it hurts. I just wish people cared.

     

    Category heart of the matter, rants | Tags: ,,,, | 8 Comments

  2. Today’s Question

    November 27, 2011 by Blondette

    There’s a man in my neighborhood who runs with his arms locked at his sides. Somewhere beyond 50 years old, lean, and meticulous, he half runs. I see him and I think “hey, there’s that guy again.” Everything I’ve read about proper running form says he’s doing it wrong. Arms are meant to be soft, loose, and at a 90 degree angle. They should swing and pump. Instead, this man seems to be doing everything in his power to keep his arms clicked firmly down in an unnatural manner. Why would he fight such a natural movement?

    At what point do you stop calculating and just do?

    As adults we are expected to manage households, hold down jobs (and exceed expectations!), please and care for others in our lives (and exceed expectations!), eat mindfully, eat healthfully, exercise, rest, sleep right, don’t drink too much, don’t be a spoiled sport, don’t take life too seriously, don’t be fat, don’t be too skinny, save your money, travel and be worldly, and love.

    It becomes overwhelming to find the balance. The messages are everywhere in our media, our conversations, and our looks. How do we know when what we are doing is enough? When we are enough.

    Is running with your arms clenched and immobile better than not running at all?

     

     

    Category heart of the matter | Tags: ,, | 1 Comment

  3. The Hunt: Why Employers Should Consider More Than My Resume

    October 11, 2011 by Blondette

    If you search “Katie Leas“ in Google you find me. In fact, you find this blog. *sweeping beauty queen arm gesture, aka, how I greet people who enter my office* WELCOME!

    First, I’m not committing social media faux paus. My boss knows I’m searching for a new job. In fact, everyone has been supportive about my decision to do something new. So, potential employer or potential employer HR representative, let me answer the question you are now dying to ask:  Why are you leaving your current job? I’m so glad you asked! As a child you never realize how much your parents or other adults “are” their job. The Katie that started at the company 6 years ago is not the Katie of late 2011 – and that’s okay. But in this case, it means Katie is looking for something different in her life. To get back into first person, I miss feeling passionate about my work.

    Lesson #1: I’m a learning nerd. I love to problem solve and I love to dig, analyze, and synthesize. I love to share information about which I am passionate. That can be language, nutrition, exercise, super-nerdy science stuff, software, how to build a website, or reality television.

    Lesson #2:  My career dream is to be a writer in the vein of Jen Lancaster or Bill Bryson. That’s right. I will likely someday want to leave your company – and that’s okay.

    Lesson #2.5:  I am strongly compelled to share my love of language and communication. I believe that a firm grasp on language can leapfrog your life. I believe in short answer and essay tests instead of multiple choice tests.

    What you can’t get from a piece of paper where I try to cram transferableskillsandachievementsandeducationandcareerobjectives in hopes of impressing you is my unbridled zeal. I think and feel with everything I’ve got – and it’s a lot.

    I blog as an outlet. I blog as an exercise. I blog because writing and communication is an essential component of Katie.

    I participate in social media. I am a person. I will not suppress that need to share and connect.

    Lesson #3:  I love lists! And outlines! Most of the time my thoughts are swirling around, fast and bouncy, and I have to force them into order. Lists and outlines create discrete tasks and keep information in a logical, natural order. So, here’s a list for you that won’t appear on a resume, but is every bit as much “me” as the transferableskillsandachievementsandeducationandcareerobjectives that fit on one page.

    Favorite Movies:

    Favorite TV Shows

    • The West Wing – all time favorite
    • Modern Family
    • How I Met Your Mother
    • Parenthood

    Favorite Sport

    • Currently, soccer. SportingKC games are really fun. And I *still* can’t get over the fact that there’s a player with the last name of Bunbury.

    Favorite Book

    • TRICK QUESTION! A Walk in the Woods, Les Miserables, Such a Pretty Fat, Harry Potter x 8 (again), The Book Thief, Firefly Summer

    Favorite Shoes

    • My rusty cowboy boots

    Hobbies:

    • trying to run, trying new things, reading, staring at my cats, the Internets, learning, writing, drinking coffee

     

    You will miss out if you do not try to hire me. I will work hard for you. I will work smart for you. I will be grateful every day that you took a chance on me.

    Category Life Lessons, You Might be Katie Leas | Tags: ,, | No Comments

  4. I Wrote You in My Head Only

    February 14, 2010 by Blondette

    When I can’t sleep, I compose. Once, I swear I composed an entire symphony in my N1 sleep. It may have been a dream mixing with the classical music station that I was fond of listening to before bed at that time of my life. Regardless, I often compose posts, conversations, and schedules when my brain is supposed to be slowing down for the day. Common problem for the insomnia driven – you are tired, but your brain doesn’t cooperate. About 95% of the time, once I write to you all (in my head) and put all my “to-dos” in order (okay, I usually have to go through it a few times so I remember and just out of pure anxiety), I drift off.

    During particularly stressful and busy weeks at work, my dreams mirror my days and are cast with work colleagues, clients, and settings. So, no matter how hard I try, I just don’t quite shut off completely.

    Last night, Saturday night, I stopped and reflected on my compositions. You see, most of the time, I don’t carry out three quarters of my “to-dos.” I become so one track focused on work that I do not keep up with anything else. And then I wear myself out thinking about it, feeling guilty about it. Imagine, I thought, if I were to just do one of those things. Imagine if when I came home, I took 15 minutes to do laundry, 5 minutes to clean the litter boxes, 5 minutes to clean the kitchen. Let’s just say half an hour of chores. Well, that’s not too much time to take away from my work and it could quite certainly be about the same amount of time my weary self lies awake composing.

    So, that’s what I’m going to work on. I’m going to try and I’m going to see it reduces my stress level.

    Category blah blah, Life Lessons | Tags: ,, | 1 Comment

  5. New Furniture for a Real Adult Katie

    December 23, 2009 by Blondette

    I’m still putting my house together, but today my new couch, chair, and ottoman arrived! Special thanks to my cousin Kiera and uncle Jim for hanging out at my house and waiting for the delivery people so I could be a workaholic! (it was a productive day!)

    The furniture is nice and cozy, soft and comfy. Note the strategic position of the chair and ottoman near the fireplace. Accident, I think not. I may do some additional angling of the couch and chair once I take the Christmas tree down. Oh, and yes, I need to put something on my walls.

    (PS. The lamp you can kind of see in the last picture is the same lamp you can see in Penny’s apartment on The Big Bang Theory. I had it first.)

    ADMIRE MY PICTURES…NOW!

    Katie Leas has a lovely living room as you can see from the comfort of her chair. Yes, that is Glee on the tv.

    Katie Leas has a lovely living room as you can see from the comfort of her chair. Yes, that is Glee on the tv.

    My mantle is pretty.

    My mantle is pretty.

    This might become part of my next header. This is the view from my new chair.

    This might become part of my next header. This is the view from my new chair.

    Katie is all growed up and has a new living room set - yes, new furniture. I shall know the origins of all stains!

    Katie is all growed up and has a new living room set - yes, new furniture. I shall know the origins of all stains!

    Category blah blah, Life Lessons | Tags: ,,, | 1 Comment

  6. Fears to face in 2010

    December 22, 2009 by Blondette

    Fear can hold you back or make you stronger. It is your choice. Okay so I’m still afraid of or don’t enjoy heights or amusement parks but I tried them. I faced them.

    Here’s a few fears I plan to address in 2010 – with a giant RAWR right in their faces – there might even be a little spit too.

    1. Personal trainer. I have always been too wimpy and self indulgent to try working with a personal trainer. I’m afraid of being pushed, being uncomfortable, being less than great at something, and not being in control. The sad thing is by giving in to that fear I cheat myself of the progress and strength I could be gaining.

    2. Telling people how I feel. Yep. I have trouble with simple stuff. I tend to fear rejection and ridicule and make myself less open.

    Category blah blah, Life Lessons | Tags: , | 1 Comment

  7. Worth a Thousand

    October 15, 2009 by Blondette

    Me with the key to my house. They aren't lying when they say you have to sign a lot of papers. And initial. I started misspelling my last name-- all FOUR letters of it. And Catherine is a kind of a long first name. But there I am with my key! My reward for not so awesome penmanship and a few thousand dollars. (or so) My hair looks great!

    Me with the key to my house. They aren't lying when they say you have to sign a lot of papers. And initial. I started misspelling my last name-- all FOUR letters of it. And Catherine is a kind of a long first name. But there I am with my key! My reward for not so awesome penmanship and a few thousand dollars. (or so) My hair looks great!

    Okay, well now I’m off to go play at Home Depot and Hobby Lobby. tee hee.

    Category Life Lessons | Tags: ,,,, | 2 Comments

  8. I’m a Travelin Band and You’re My Groupies

    October 5, 2009 by Blondette

    I was reading archived posts the other day and saw a “You Might Be Katie Leas if” where I mentioned something about not liking to fly and not liking to travel. Amazing how time goes.

    This summer I traveled to Orlando, New York City, and Las Vegas for work. I find I’ve traveled enough in the last 3 years that I get huffy with slow people in the security line, I no longer feel I’m jinxing myself if I don’t sit attentively watching the security review on the plane, I don’t freak out when I see people using their cell phones during the flight,  I don’t need Xanax to fly, and I kinda like airport shops (okay TRUTH, I’ve always liked the airport shops and I like night flights)

    Places I’ve been thanks to work:

    • Fort Lauderdale, FL
    • New Orleans, LA
    • Seattle, WA
    • Indianapolis, IN
    • Minneapolis/St. Paul, MN
    • Las Vegas, NV
    • Orlando, FL
    • New York City, NY

    Here’s a few photo highlights from my travels.

    Orlando

    My visit in June was a first for me. I’d never been to the city that housed Disney World. Oh man, there was a Rugrats hotel. We stayed at a nice hotel and had to drive to the conference hotel- it was a LONG few days and it ate up a weekend plus a couple work days, but it was definitely worth it. I actually really working the booth at shows. I ended up in one of the industry publications Vanna-ing our wares. (We were promoting our site SchoolBlender with margaritas…I posed and then provided a quote for the caption and we won first place)

    My hotel in Orlando had lots of foliage. I didn't realize this was a normal thing but apparently it is.

    My hotel in Orlando had lots of foliage. I didn't realize this was a normal thing but apparently it is.

    We took clients to dinner the night after I'd worked the booth all day. I helped tear down and ended up going back to my hotel to change before dinner. It was a Japanese Steakhouse, aka HEAVEN.

    We took clients to dinner the night after I'd worked the booth all day. I helped tear down and ended up going back to my hotel to change before dinner. It was a Japanese Steakhouse, aka HEAVEN.

    Out of sequence, but this was Gayla's drink at the sushi bar in our hotel. We stopped there for lunch after we put up the booth. I had a headache at this point but managed to get over it. We had enough time to bathe and change before heading back over to start meetings and conference time. Pretty drink. Sake involved. I complimented the waitress on her shirt and then realized it was a uniform shirt. Felt stupid. But had food. and flowery drink

    Out of sequence, but this was Gayla's drink at the sushi bar in our hotel. We stopped there for lunch after we put up the booth. I had a headache at this point but managed to get over it. We had enough time to bathe and change before heading back over to start meetings and conference time. Pretty drink. Sake involved. I complimented the waitress on her shirt and then realized it was a uniform shirt. Felt stupid. But had food. and flowery drink

    This is what we saw while waiting for our breakfast meetings. I'm really not a huge fan of palm trees.

    This is what we saw while waiting for our breakfast meetings. I'm really not a huge fan of palm trees.

    Our give away at the exhibit hall- one was spiked and one wasn't. Our cups were hypercolor. Trust me, the give away was relevant. It was also a good way to get people to stop and talk. I'm a good little booth girl. It was pretty much non-stop talking for me.

    Our give away at the exhibit hall- one was spiked and one wasn't. Our cups were hypercolor. Trust me, the give away was relevant. It was also a good way to get people to stop and talk. I'm a good little booth girl. It was pretty much non-stop talking for me.

    New York City

    OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG *pinch* Dude, I’m in Harlem?! OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG Is that Central Park? OMG OMG OMG Am I getting ripped off? All the literature says this cab ride shouldn’t cost more than $40. I hope I don’t get ripped off. OMG OMG OMG I’M IN NEW YORK CITY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

    I’m smooth, huh? That’s kind of how my brain was working when I landed at LaGuardia. NYC is an epic city. You have Rome, Athens, Pompeii, Constantinople, and…New York City.  As you may have guessed from my sauve-ty, it was my first visit to New York City.

    This was the view my hotel- there was always some sort of traffic. I stayed at the Marriott Marquis in Time Square. I'm underprivelged.

    This was the view my hotel- there was always some sort of traffic. I stayed at the Marriott Marquis in Time Square. I'm underprivelged.

    Pigeons > Seagulls. My first up close and personal with real NYC Pigeons. I was sitting outside at Starbucks being stood up for a meeting. But there was a latte and pigeons!

    Pigeons > Seagulls. My first up close and personal with real NYC Pigeons. I was sitting outside at Starbucks being stood up for a meeting. But there was a latte and pigeons!

    We stumbled past NBC studios and such on our way back to the hotel after visiting St. Patrick's Cathedral. So much walking. And Rockafeller Center was very small. I'm still not conviced that I saw the real Rockafeller Center. Treachery.

    We stumbled past NBC studios and such on our way back to the hotel after visiting St. Patrick's Cathedral. So much walking. And Rockafeller Center was very small. I'm still not conviced that I saw the real Rockafeller Center. Treachery.

    We cabbed it over to the area that allowed us to walk up to Ground Zero. It wasn't what I expected but the construction is deep. You can't see much other than lots of construction. Not sure how they are going to get it done by 2011.

    We cabbed it over to the area that allowed us to walk up to Ground Zero. It wasn't what I expected but the construction is deep. You can't see much other than lots of construction. Not sure how they are going to get it done by 2011.

    A memorial near Ground Zero for firefighters. I teared up. Seeing names always does that. Names make them people. Which makes me sad.

    A memorial near Ground Zero for firefighters. I teared up. Seeing names always does that. Names make them people. Which makes me sad.

    Nope, that's not a dirty spot, that's Lady Liberty. Hey! Our cabbie was very tourguidey and drove us over to Battery Park and told us all kinds of things that I've since forgotten. I do remember that he works in IT too and he's bringing his family over from India finally.

    Nope, that's not a dirty spot, that's Lady Liberty. Hey! Our cabbie was very tourguidey and drove us over to Battery Park and told us all kinds of things that I've since forgotten. I do remember that he works in IT too and he's bringing his family over from India finally.

    Columns at St. Patrick's

    Columns at St. Patrick's

    Stained glass window at St. Patrick's. I couldn't come close with my camera phone to capturing the color.

    Stained glass window at St. Patrick's. I couldn't come close with my camera phone to capturing the color.

    Take my breath away. Nope, not a cheesey love scene. Amazing wowness inside St. Patrick's Cathedral.

    Take my breath away. Nope, not a cheesey love scene. Amazing wowness inside St. Patrick's Cathedral.

    A shot to the back of the church toward the organ. This was my favorite view. I was in awe. It was breathtaking. I may have thanked God a little that day.

    A shot to the back of the church toward the organ. This was my favorite view. I was in awe. It was breathtaking. I may have thanked God a little that day.

    Las Vegas

    YAWN. I’ve done this before that whole one other time last year. I’m a pro. Well, okay, not a pro but I learned a few things about Vegas that helped me have a more enjoyable experience. No matter how short the distance looks, you should never try to walk from Planet Hollywood to Mandalay Bay. For the love of God, wear decent shoes. (I rocked my cowboy boots with a black dress.) Your room will never be 100% dark.

    I had an interesting room at Bally's in Vegas. I'd never use the giant jetted tub because doubt they clean it well enough to convince me they've washed away all of the sin. The bathroom was setup funny and there were A LOT of mirrors. The room was also never fully dark and I had an obscured view of the front of the Bellagio and got to see the fountains from my room. All in all, not bad for a gal. This is the only picture I have for you. What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas! (lame. actually there really wasn't anything to capture. I tweeted and blogged the actual event.)

    I had an interesting room at Bally's in Vegas. I'd never use the giant jetted tub because doubt they clean it well enough to convince me they've washed away all of the sin. The bathroom was setup funny and there were A LOT of mirrors. The room was also never fully dark and I had an obscured view of the front of the Bellagio and got to see the fountains from my room. All in all, not bad for a gal. This is the only picture I have for you. What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas! (lame. actually there really wasn't anything to capture. I tweeted and blogged the actual event.)

    Those are just a few snippets from my travel. I feel lucky. I no longer hate to travel. I never did really hate it- I was just afraid because it was a rarity. When I was 8, they made us do tumbling in gym class and I was terrified of doing somersaults and forward rolls. (never got over skinning the cat). Once I tried it, I was a tumbling fool. I setup a mattress thing in our living room at home and would just fill my days with forward rolls. Quit while I’m ahead with the anecdote, yeah?

    Category blah blah, Favorite Posts | Tags: ,,, | 3 Comments

  9. This is an Unedited Post

    September 20, 2009 by Blondette

    Earlier this year I wrote that I was going to post as I was thought about it. This hasn’t happened. I have several drafts for things I’ve wanted to share, but haven’t. I haven’t felt like I had the right words. I’ve questioned how people will react. I’ve wondered about making people uncomfortable.

    Recently, I read a post by on Copyblogger.com called “How to Stop Making Yourself Crazy with Self-Editing” by Sean D’Souza. The main idea I took away was that we need to stop editing so much and just write. Isn’t that how they say we get better? Isn’t that one of the main themes in any creative writing class? Write.

    You work on exercises to stretch your brain. You open up your imagination, heart, and you have no time to edit.

    They call this stream of consciousness. I’ve been watching the Emmy’s and tweeting my opinions. I’m a little upset that Neil Patrick Harris lost to Jon Cryer and that Jim Parsons lost to Alec Baldwin. In fact, Jim Parsons became (and still is) a trending topic on Twitter but most of the comments are junk. NPH is hosting with some crap material but he’s still good. Jimmy Fallon is hilarious.

    9pm and it feels like 10pm Sunday night.

    Let me go back to the beginning of today. I awoke and shortly after a heard my phone ding- yes, I keep it by my bed (it’s my alarm! and what if I wake up and can’t sleep and feel like getting on Facebook or Twitter? or texting? or checking my email? and well, it’s my clock so I know how much sleep I’m not getting) Boys don’t like this about me. (it was before 7am so I figured it was Tammi because no one else is awake and texting me that early- usually.) It turns out the text was from my dad. Suffice it to say (trite!) I was surprised, but in a nice way. The highlights of our text conversation where his joke when I told him I had exciting news (me: I’m buying a house. Him: that’s better than being pregnant – indeed Dad, indeed!) and when I told him I’d just email him since his phone was dying and he LOLed at me.

    Lately I’ve been telling people and myself to “step back.” Pull yourself out of the moment and really look at the whole situation. Imagine, my dad texting me and us having a fun conversation. My mom has been trying to text lately as have Tammi’s parents. Anyhow, I followed up with a cup of coffee and getting to the coffee shop on time and securing our table! Coffee was exceptionally fun today with upbeat banter and adult humor and friends.

    You know what, if this is growing up, then I say, thank God.

    Category blah blah, Favorite Memories, humor, Life Lessons | Tags: ,,, | No Comments

  10. High School Sweetheart Class of 1999

    August 11, 2009 by Blondette

    In just over a week, my high school graduating class will hold their 10 year reunion. I will not be attending. Interestingly enough, I’ve been friended on Facebook by several former classmates, and really, that’s good enough for me.

    I don’t really like the idea of facing the reunion alone. I wasn’t popular. I was smart, quiet, fat, extremely self-conscious, a little crazy, and just didn’t get into all of the typical high school things. Oh, and I was in the band. I was not an extreme loser, but I was definitely a non-entity on the social radar.

    Parties? only if they were sleepovers where we talked about boys, watched movies, and ate treats.

    Boyfriends? Only in my diary.

    The only good thing about this reunion is realizing that 10 years later, I’m not the same person I was back in high school. I have a successful career, loads more social skills, and a much stronger sense of worth.

    I will admit to e-stalking the reunion profiles to see who’s married, who has kids, who has a shitty job, who has a better job than me, and just other general “where are they now.”  Granted, I’ve gotten some of that info from the phenomenon that is Facebook, but it’s still interesting.

    Overall, I think I’m doing alright. After all, I was in a magazine- how many of them can say that?

    Category blah blah | Tags: ,,,,, | 1 Comment

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