Bamboozled by a debate I was not ready to have (no prep time!) I was surprised to see just how impassioned one person could be about the presence of one little bitty “s” at the end of a word. Indeed, I never knew the plural could be so offensive. Even my stepdad, who loathes the use of the word “anyways” [because it should be "anyway" and whenever I said "anyways" he would grimace and correct me. (I also went on a kick of overusing "annoying" and he never failed to comment on that, forcing me to use my synonyms.)] never became as adamant as one man did the other night.
His main contention was that real technical people would never call the Internet “the internets.” At first, I was offended, thinking myself a technical person. After all, my job consists of a great deal of technical knowledge and dialogue. I’m fluent in the language. If I did not understand our technology, I would not be effective or innovative in my job. And one of the most rewarding parts of my job is brainstorming with the programmers to solve problems and create solutions. But really, when it comes down to it, understanding of technology, query structure, database structure and knowing CSS and PHP don’t really make me a “real technical person.” Or do they?
Let’s examine the definitions of “real”,”technical” and “people.”
real: being or occurring in fact or actuality; having verified existence; not illusory; “real objects”; “real people; not ghosts”; “a film based on real …
technical: of or relating to technique or proficiency in a practical skill; characterizing or showing skill in or specialized knowledge of applied arts and sciences;
people: (plural) any group of human beings (men or women or children) collectively;
[So maybe he meant to say or did say a "real technical person" as "people" is plural and we know how he feels about plurals (though this one doesn't have an "s" so maybe he didn't know it was plural or wasn't offended because it excludes that scary letter "s.") We'll carry on using "people" for our current argument.]
Hmm. Well, my existance is verifiable; I am not an illusion, therefore I am real. Technical modifies people, and I am a person within a group which shows skill and specialized knowledge of applied arts and sciences (English, technology, critical thinking), therefore I’m a technical person. So, I’m a real technical person. I also say “the Internets.” (and I even type and say it as “teh Internets.”)
But, according to someone, that can’t be!
I suppose he’d have you believe that All Your Base (do not) Belong To Me, Chocolate Rain isn’t funny, parody’s aren’t real humor, and that there aren’t any Mother F*##@% Snakes on the Plane.
Let’s ask this guy what he thinks- answer
So, that’s why real technical people do call the Internet “the Internets” and Rob is wrong.