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‘rants’ Category

  1. Itchy

    December 3, 2011 by Blondette

    Something has been bugging me all day.

    I almost cried.

    So here’s what happened. A few weeks ago I went to my friend’s Celebrating Home party. You know the type, there’s a catalog and a bunch of women and food and drink. I wasn’t very excited to attend because I shouldn’t be spending money and I knew I’d feel obligated to do so. But I went because it was important to my friend. Well, part of the party involved a game that basically locked you into having your own party unless you were one of the 10% who didn’t get the “host a party” message in your gift box. I could have given the box back but I HAD TO KNOW WHAT IT CONTAINED! Stupid curiosity.

    So, I booked a party.

    I don’t host a lot of guests. I like having people over, but I’m awful with timing and people never seem to want to come to my house. (Probably because I have 3 cats and live way up north – I get it.) When I emailed out the invites I didn’t get a lot of “yes” results, but I got a few. So, I pressed on with preparation because by that point, I was kind of looking forward to having people over. I spent an entire day and the following morning cleaning my house. (Because I have pets I wanted to make sure I was really diligent in the scrubbing so 1) it wouldn’t be super obvious that I have pets 2) people would feel relaxed at ease).)

    Maybe I picked a bad day and time. Just because 11am on a Saturday is good for me doesn’t mean it is for others. Unless it’s something they want to do like watch a football game.

    I sat with my super clean house, food cooking, and drinks and cups ready to go. My house smelled lovely and warm and my Christmas decorations twinkled. I hovered and perched with my eyes darting toward the open front door. 11:04, eh, it’s raining and that’s margin of error. 11:11, eh. 11:15..hmm. 11:20, I, I, I don’t think anyone is coming. 11:30, I guess I have to call it.

    No one came. (except my friend the designer)

    Only one person  out of 4 who said yes contacted me to tell me they weren’t going to show up.

    What happened to people that they aren’t considerate enough to let someone know that they aren’t going to come to the party they RSVP’d for, the party someone spent HOURS cleaning for, and  the party spent mucho dinero to buy supplies for? Do people not think about the work, time, and money that goes into having people over? Maybe I would have preferred doing something else with my Saturday morning too.  I could have canceled the party. It would have felt better. I missed my class at the gym because people said they were coming. My friend was happy because her enthusiasm had waned and she no longer wanted to do the party, but I couldn’t even verbalize my disappointment to her. Did she not stop to think how it must have felt to have worked so hard and had no one show up? It’s like being stood up on a date. But I didn’t say anything and that’s on me.

    I felt like an idiot. Not only were my feelings hurt, but I started to doubt myself. If someone didn’t want to come, why didn’t they just come out and be honest about it? And if they decided to flake day of? Why not email, text, call, or Facebook to say “sorry, I can’t come.”

    I spent a lot of the day trying to brush away my feelings of anger, shame, and disappointment. “Come on Katie, it’s silly to care. It’s silly to feel hurt about this.” Only, it’s not because it’s how I feel. And people SHOULD feel bad. (except the person who did text me)

    I tried to spin it into positive and keep my chin up. My house is super clean and that’s awesome. I have plenty of booze and booze supplies for holiday gatherings. I didn’t have to have awkward moments where people didn’t want to buy stuff.

    Maybe what bothered me most was that I wouldn’t treat anyone that way. So why did they think it was okay to treat me that way? And why do I feel bad that I might make them feel bad for making me feel bad? And all I really still feel is “God, I suck at life.” I don’t suck at life, but I sure seem to suck at social life. Events like this make me want to say “Fuck people.” Only, I can’t. I won’t. I’ll still smile and be upbeat and be kind and generous. Even when it hurts. I just wish people cared.

     


  2. I Have a Bubble

    November 8, 2009 by Blondette

    Personal space. Take a moment. Think about what it means to you and how it feels. It’s nice right? It’s nice to be able to turn around in the aisle of a store and not worry that you are going to accidentally cop a feel, touch a cut, or contract Swine Flu.

    I really like not being trapped by strangers. Lately, it feels like everywhere I go, I get trapped. Kids are huge culprits and I blame their parents for not teaching them to back the fuck off of people. You know what? I WAS HERE FIRST. You wait your turn Snotty1 and Snotty2. And why is it that people feel the need to drag all of their children with them on excursions? I’m not talking about your ordinary grocery store or Target where it might make sense, I’m talking about places like Lowe’s. Why the fuck would a kid want to go to Lowe’s? Maybe I’m overly sensitive, but I find it irritating when I have to give kids a dirty look. ME. AND I’M NICE.

    Please also note, Snotty1 and Snotty2 aren’t just 2-7 year olds- we’re talking kids who are way old enough to know limits and have some manners. You know what? If you know exactly what you want or it’s imperative that you be right up on me, at least say “excuse me.”At least let me know you have some cognition of the fact that you are trespassing on my most sacred personal space.


  3. Oh Where Did My Panties Go?

    March 18, 2009 by Blondette

    Have you ever thought about panties?

    Knickers. Undies. Satin, silk, cotton, lycra, edible, lace.

    My favorite pair was red with lace trim and a keyhole and a bow in back. They were comfortable and made me feel confident and sexy. I’m not quite sure where they ended up.* (not that they’d fit now anyway)

    What do panties say about the wearer?

    Our culture seems to segregate and stereotype based on a woman’s preference. If you like cotton, full-coverage briefs you wear granny panties and get categorized as an asexual being. But, please recall Bridget Jones pair of enormous stomach holding in panties that not only got her laid, but actually seemed to be a turn-on for her partner. I think nowadays we think of the granny panties as the one week a month staple. But these are the classic panty, much like the “tighty whitey” for men. Use in moderation.

    Conversely, the thong is for “loose” girls. They scream voyeurism and wreak of sexual desire and experience. That’s probably why I freaked out when my 12 year old cousin bought a pair. It seemed like she was being sexualized far too young. (yes, I’ve read Lolita.) Truly, the thong is a fashion necessity. There are just certain garments that require you wear a thong to reduce pantyline exposure. I think most women find these uncomfortable because they buy the wrong size, which creates the butt-floss issues. *shiver*

    See Panties Here
    *likely a victim of the washer or dryer


  4. Hit List

    August 24, 2008 by Blondette

    Dear Sephora at JCPenney on Skyview (aka, super close to home),
    I want to thank you for your EXCELLENT customer service today! You were so helpful! I really appreciated the way you ignored me and offered to help other customers. I also really liked the way you looked at me when I was “in your way” as I was shopping the vast selection of delightful makeup items*.

    It feels good to know that I can walk into a store not looking my best (no makeup) and still be treated well. You saw past the capris and Peeps t-shirt and saw the potential of $100 plus sale. Thank you!

    The other customers were also super considerate. In fact, I didn’t mind moving for everyone else when they happened up to the row of merchandise I was inspecting. Nope! NO PROBLEM! Let me just get out of your way! No, it’s okay, it doesn’t matter that I got here first! Please, reach around me and push me out of the way. I like it.

    *the only part of this that is not sarcastic is the vast selection of delightful makeup items. They had so many lovely things that I wanted to buy. Too bad for them. *sigh* I really wanted that eyeshadow. :(


  5. Prospero?

    June 13, 2008 by Blondette

    There’s a man with a “stage” voice sitting across the room from me at the coffee shop, where I am diligently working and trying to get caught up on my timesheet. My extended life battery has 30% of its juice (approx 1:04 hours) remaining and I’m using it’s precious time to rant. I feel like Prospero’s sitting next to me and it’s quite distracting. I wonder how the study group a the table beside him feels about the booming nature of his voice? He may be a teacher based on his topic of discussion and because it seems he enjoys the sound of his own voice. It’s like me when I’ve had a few drinks. WOOOO! I AM INTERESTING! LISTEN LISTEN LISTEN! Well dude, I can’t help but listen, you have a voice like a boom-cannon. Yes, even with the country music chiming, study group studying, the barista’s bantering, blending, and grinding, and my nails clacking lightly on the soft keys of my laptop I can still hear you.

    Oh, wait. You were a band director and you’re laughing about your “Salute to Gasoline.” I’m sure you’re a nice guy, but man…don’t make me go Pre-School Teacher on you–INSIDE VOICES!!!!!!!!


  6. In Life I Must or Musn’t

    October 7, 2007 by Blondette

    *a reader request*

    I am sometimes accused of being indecisive. I am not sure I agree. For one, I know that there are things in life I feel compelled to do, or not do. I have compiled a lovely list, once again sharing more about myself than anyone would ever care to know.

    Musnt

    1. skydive
    2. bungee jump
    3. eat slugs
    4. get fired from a job
    5. have embarrassing amounts of gas in public
    6. have embarrassing amounts of gas in “private”
    7. eat tuna
    8. intentionally inflict pain on others
    9. intentionally inflict pain on myself
    10. unintentionally inflict pain on others
    11. live in poverty
    12. get stabbed
    13. tell secrets that are not mine to tell
    14. break someone’s trust
    15. be stalked by The Fray (well, it is kind of fun)
    16. walk in on my parents in flagrante (delicto)
    17. be walked in on while in flagrante
    18. step on a tack

    Things I might someday desire to do

    1. ski
    2. waterski

    Must

    1. travel to Tuscany–heck, Italy in general
    2. travel to Ireland, Scotland, England, Wales…
    3. France, Germany, Greece…
    4. start giving to the people with signs on the side of the road. I had a grand plan (well more of an idea really) to just buy a bunch of gift certificates/cards for places like McDonald’s that I could give instead of money. But I almost feel bad about that because it’s like I’m judging–who am I to assume what they will do with the money-it’s their choice. I am just enabling them the money with which to make a choice.
    5. knit something with alpaca yarn
    6. have a window overlooking green trees, lots of trees
    7. have an earth shattering orgasm-with a man
    8. own a house–make it a home
    9. own lots of pretty underwear
    10. get a dog
    11. have dinner parties for friends (and beat them at Trivial Pursuit)
    12. participate in/host a “How to Host a Mystery” game (have you ever seen Clue or Gosford Park?)
    13. experience reciprocated true love
    14. have children
    15. grow my own tomatoes
    16. go on a sleigh ride
    17. have fresh flowers and plants
    18. stay in a log cabin in the mountains
    19. act out the “I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus” thing
    20. paint pretty pictures
    21. finish my coasters
    22. amaze people
    23. be adored
    24. forgive others–no matter what
    25. acquire Peach Nehi and make a peach float–even though I’m vegan and don’t eat ice cream anymore

    Watch out for Part II.


  7. It’s a Bird, It’s a Plane, It’s a Bitch in a Minivan!

    August 6, 2007 by Blondette

    Prologue

    On Saturday, I put the back seats in my car down to allow for more room for the large posters and frames I bought for my apartment.

    Chapter 1: Man It’s Hot Outside!

    My story begins in the Wal-Mart parking lot. After I finished loading my purchases into my trunk and had returned my shopping cart to the nearest cart corral, I opened my driver’s side door, set down my purse in the seat and proceeded to put my back seats in their proper upright positions so my groceries would not roll around the entire car. Once I finished, I got in the driver’s seat and was closing my door and such as I heard a series of 3 chirping horn honks. The lady next to me was trying to tell me to close my door faster.

    Basically, the 30 seconds it took for me to pop my seats back in place and get in my car and close the door were cramping her style. In fact, as if waiting for me to close my door hadn’t been terrible enough, she actually had to wait for pedestrians before she could back out of her parking spot!

    It was pretty great when she was still waiting to turn left out of the parking lot while I cruised by taking my right hand turn, sailing toward home while she waited, waited, waited.

    And she drove a blue minivan. So, I guess I should feel sorry for her a bit, eh?

    Epilogue

    Having sped away gleefully yet with rage, I happened upon a large cranberry colored truck with camouflage trim. It made me giggle and some of the anger from the evil hoes beast in the blue minivan subsided.

    The End


  8. Personality in Business

    July 5, 2007 by Blondette

    It, like, totally matters.

    In a not-so-recent discussion with my boss I was asked what I felt my strengths are. Flippantly, I replied “my sparkling personality!”

    Humor and levity can do a lot.

    In fact, until I know someone, I tend to keep the personality under wraps for fear of being stereotyped as a “bubbly blonde.” To me, bubbly blonde implies dumb. Sorry y’all, but I am not fooled by your M&M alphabetizing tricks!

    It made me think, how important is that sparkling personality in my working and personal life?

    I found out that I’m still quite shy, but once I’m comfortable that quirky personality is out in full force (and more so when I’ve had a drink or two.) I like to make people feel good and positive.

    I also learned that being polite and using humor and building relationships with people is beneficial. People respect you more, like you more, and are more willing to help you out if you have a genuine sparkling personality. It also makes you more susceptible to being taken advantage of.

    One of my goals is to stop being so shy and just be myself–that bubbly, Sunshine, Lollipops, and Rainbows self.

    I’ll abstain from becoming a raging bitch (at least until I’m old and it becomes allowable.)

    PS. Sorry to all for calling the old lady (well, not THAT old–60′s ish) with the handicapped tag in the big white car at Price Chopper a bad name. But just because you’re old and have a handicapped tag on your car doesn’t mean you don’t have to obey the rules of parking lot etiquette–they point the parking places different directions and paint those arrows a specific way for a reason.


  9. I Hate Paypal

    March 11, 2007 by Blondette

    *sigh*
    (*update at the bottom of post!)

    Tonight, I’m trying to pay for a premium membership to SEOmoz and I’m giving up because I’m running into the same roadblocks with Paypal that I always hit.

    When I login to my Paypal acccount it tells me to add a card. So, I enter my debit card info and it tells me that card is already active on the account. AWESOME! too bad when I login to Paypal it doesn’t show up or let me use it! So, you’re asking, “why not use another card Katie?” Because I’m stubborn and cheap and my debit card is the only card I use–yes, I have another “credit” card but it is strictly for emergencies and large purchases and if off limits to Paypal–even for SEOmoz :( I’ve done the debt thing and it sucked.

    I tried the option where you don’t have to login to a Paypal account. I entered my info and crossed my fingers. It told me I couldn’t use the card because it was already attached to a Paypal account and I should sign in to use it. AWESOME AGAIN. Too bad when I sign in IT DOESN’T LET ME USE THE CARD IT SAYS IS ON MY ACCOUNT.

    This same kind of bs has happened the last 3 times I’ve tried to use Paypal. I’m frustrated.

    SEOmoz, I LOVE you and I really want to sign up for the premium membership, but I cannot work with Paypal. They hate me and now I hate them. (takes a lot to get me to hate someone or something!) SEOmoz, I implore you to add another option for payment! in fact, I will probably being emailing you to see if we can work something out.

    I must now look at random kitten pictures.

    *UPDATE* I did end up emailing the SEOmoz team. Unfortunately, Paypal is the only option. Thanks to Rand Fishkin and Matthew Inman for their prompt replies! Even though they couldn’t give me good news, I do truly appreciate the fact that they answered my email.


  10. Right Might be Trite Mr. Covey

    October 11, 2006 by Blondette

    My company engages in at least two forms of training per week. We have an established meeting time every Thursday morning in which we train on industry and company issues and topics; and we read a book or watch a movie and conduct a discussion after our weekly staff meeting.

    Currently, we are reading a book about communication and crucial conversations with a foreward written by Steven Covey. My first reaction to the book was extremely optimistic and positive–yes, yes I could use some help communicating! I tend to be shy and I’m soft spoken.

    I was severely disappointed as soon as I started reading this new book. The foreward not only came off as boring and trite, it ended with the most overused piece of great poetry EVER–The Road Not Taken. This Robert Frost poem has lost so much meaning due to overusage and yet Mr. Covey felt it was appropriate. An innovator, a revolutionary…a regurgitator. I’m not opening my mouth for your chewed up worms Mr. Covey; you’ll have to feed me something different. (true to nature, I was quite a picky eater in my childhood.)

    Overall, the book has me underwhelmed. A foreward that reeks of a bad high school valedictory speech, 3 chapters to tell me that my health and career can benefit from besting my natural physiologic responses and being level-headed in high stress conversations. If the book ever tells me specific tactics to implement I may warm up, but right now the woods are lovely, dark, and deep and I just may choose to stop and visit for a bit.