Just do you all know, I was tweeted back by a real live author! Thank you Jennifer Weiner!
And all it took was awful trivia knowledge of Dominique Swain.
I should probably get a life soon, huh?
December 6, 2011 by Blondette
Just do you all know, I was tweeted back by a real live author! Thank you Jennifer Weiner!
And all it took was awful trivia knowledge of Dominique Swain.
I should probably get a life soon, huh?
Category blah blah, Favorite Memories, writing | Tags: | No Comments
September 19, 2011 by Blondette
I was surprised today when I saw it had been 3 months since I’d last posted. As I told someone today, sometimes I have nothing to say because there is too much to say. I had a counselor who once told me “the time is going to pass anyway.” Time, tide, and trolley wait for no one. At the top of stairs (at what point did I get old enough to have creaks, stiffness, and pain when I first walk down the stairs in the morning?) I was struck with the realization that I’m no longer in my 20′s. I’m older and I’m going to keep getting older until my life is over. Which could happen at any moment. My time is running out.
And that is the theme of my year. Actually, it started last year. Time is running out. I do believe I mourned lost opportunity. It made me withdrawn, angry, and resentful. I was depressed.
Tonight as I watched the season premiere of How I Met Your Mother, Ted, our main character (the one who met your mother) tells Robin (a good friend and former girlfriend) that he has lost hope. I’ve that way many times over the past 2 years.
This isn’t even what I was going to write about. I wanted to write about how nice it was to have my dad in town and at my house this year. By-the-way, my house now stinks because I put expired chicken in the trash last night. I forgot to toss it last week on trash day, and I didn’t want to miss another week. Unfortunately, that means I’m dealing with the smell.
My brother installed a new sink for me. That was very exciting. I never knew I could love a sink so much. I even got to do a little plumbing!
I’m currently in the process of culling the herds of books, clothes, and other stuff that occupies too much space in my house. There will be cleaning!
You may remember that I locked myself out one morning during a lull in a rainy morning. I had no choice but to knock on the neighbor’s door – the neighbor I’d never met. I was braless and unshowered. By some miracle I remembered Tammi’s phone number and she was able to come over and let me in. (always give your best friend a key to your house.)
Category blah blah, heart of the matter | Tags: | No Comments
June 3, 2011 by Blondette
I’ve been gone for somewhere between 24 and 48 hours. As the plane touches down at MCI, I think “home.” For two seconds I feel a hopeful calm. I’m overcome with the thought of my house. My living room with its bright red couches and teal curtains excite me and I have the urge to lie face down in the middle of the floor and make carpet angels, happily claiming “mine.”
During one of my last trips, this one several days instead of overnight, I updated my office IM with “I miss my cats.” It’s become a bit of a joke at work, but mostly it’s just a simple truth when I travel. I miss my cats. My cats with their insistent meows and contented purrs – my cats who claim me as home.
My journey started in Fort Lauderdale slightly before 3pm (local time.) Glad I didn’t have to run to make my flight, I still felt the anxiety of waiting – my journey home would mean a stop first in New Orleans and then another in Chicago. In total it would take about seven or eight hours – most of them in the air to make a trip that takes closer to 3 hours on a direct flight.
Finally home in Kansas City and sucking in familiar air, my impatience once again builds as I wait for the Parking Spot shuttle that will take me to freedom. I’m frustrated and annoyed because I know I do not have any cash with me and won’t be able t tip the driver who will help me with my bag. The drivers all seem to be slightly older, grey men with classic names like George and Charles. Tonight, it’s the white haired Jake who helps me. I’ve ridden with Jake before and hope that I had cash for a tip them. I am a very inconsistent tipper. Most times I forget to break $20′s or simply forget to get cash. Skycaps and drivers have received tips of $5, $3, $1, or no dollars depending on what is available. I vow that next time I will have cash and if Jake is my driver, I will tip big to compensate for tonight.
As I sit on the shuttle staring at my long, black shellacked fingernails – hmm, definitely over grown and time to be cut and re-painted – I feel trapped. If Sartre and Beckett were to create a video game this would be it. A group of tired travelers, an old man who should be retired in his lounge chair and a bus. In the buss small dim lights cast a blueish hue on our skin. A loop of cheesy muzak grates our ears as the bus clunks along the scarred road. I am scowling quizzically wondering if it is the road or a flat tire creating the disturbance. The muzak crescendos and lulls, the lights steadily shine, and the people look away trapped in their own thoughts of freedom from the machine that is not coming fast enough. Soon I am back to my fingernails – waiting to soak away the color and admiring it.
I will be in my Nissan soon. It will take me down the dark highway towards home. In the round-about there will be a deer. Sizable too and she will turn and run from my headlights. So many deer out lately. I will just be happy this one lives.
When I walk in the front door the carpet angel is forgotten. Instead, I will focus as I would any night on my pre-bed routine – feed the cats, turn out the light, and go upstairs where my soft green pajama pants are waiting. As I crawl into bed I wait and hope for that plonk next to me and then the rhythmic purr and weighty warmth of a kitten settling next to me for the night – home.
Category blah blah, writing | Tags: travel | No Comments
March 20, 2011 by Blondette
From my current vantage point I can see the backs of houses, the greenish grass, and of course, felines. It’s the first day of Spring and I’m in “The Office of the Queen.” (this is the name I’ve given my guest room/office for the purpose of checking in on foursquare.) In all my fantasies of being a writer, or at least of having a home office, I’ve always imagined a desk placed with a view of nature. I can stare for hours in silence. This is essential for meditation procrastination.
Yesterday as I was driving home from my morning errands (it’s amazing how many people hit up the Costco on a Saturday morning as soon as it opens! I also found the same odd appeal at Michael’s and Dick’s.) I had what you might call an epiphany, only that seems sort of trite and exaggerated for what it really was – just sudden clicking into place of a desire – my perfect house/office would be on a second or third story overlooking a lake. (or some other non-tropical body of water.) Now, I’m not into water sports or boats, but I am into water foul. Watching geese makes me a little warm and fuzzy.
I’m supposed to be figuring out what to do with the little patch of land which lines the walkway to my front door. I have bushes you see. Unruly, smelly bushes. I purchased hedge clippers yesterday which is kind of scary and awesome because I can go all Edward Scissorhands on my yucky bushes – only, I would prefer to uproot them completely. This creates a whole new level of strategic landscape planning. What tools do I need? How will I dispose of the remains? Will I be left with giant gaping holes in the ground? How many times will I accidentally hit myself in the face with a yard tool? However, if I get rid of the smelly bushes, it clears the path for scraping off the nasty wood chips. But whatever I will most certainly impact my pathway sharing neighbor. Symmetry will be lost. But is that a bad thing?
I’ve considered 5 scenarios with my landing strip (what?):
Obviously, I need to do more research on proper technique, supplies, and disposal (gardening gloves would be a good start, eh?) I have a real urge to somehow incorporate strawberry pots.
Category blah blah, Life Lessons | Tags: | No Comments
January 24, 2011 by Blondette
There are two times of day when I really like my house. One of them is right now. The “just before bed” time. All I can hear is the clock ticking (and now, my fingers typing). The lights are dim and warm and the cats are still. Every beat is peace. Soon, I’ll be upstairs and I’ll turn over in the bed and smile at the softness of the sheets (flannel!) I’ll bury myself deep under the fluff of the silky down comforter. And then I will drift.
My other favorite time is morning – dawn and early morning when only the true morning people are stirring. I feel cheated if I miss this time of day. Everything is new. New minutes. New sun. New clouds. New birds. New me. Everything is still and kinetic. (buzzing?)
I love the times when the world is on mute and I’m controlling the volume.
Category blah blah | Tags: obtuse | No Comments
January 4, 2011 by Blondette
It’s kind of hard to be a writer if you don’t write.
(Keep Calm and) Carry On.
Category blah blah | Tags: random | No Comments
November 14, 2010 by Blondette
I frequently find myself wanting to be someone else. Well, that’s not entirely accurate. I want to be me. I like me. I just want to step into someone else’s life. A pre-built life. It’s like eating out all the time instead of cooking. The meals are already prepared and you know what to expect, how they will taste, look, and you can choose what you prefer that day.
But building your own life is much more challenging. Is it more rewarding?
hmmm.
In school it was about being with the right people. Being accepted, liked, and respected. But it wasn’t me. I wonder how much of everything I “like” or do is me truly liking or doing. And how much is me. What parts of my life are fakes? What did I strive for only to feel like a fake?
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October 25, 2010 by Blondette
little girls in hair bows and coats
Christmas lights
cats watching kitten videos
Category blah blah | Tags: cat lady | No Comments
October 23, 2010 by Blondette
I love a few things. Words and association are 2 of them. I’m currently obsessed with this song*:
Which makes me think of this poem**:

Painting depicting the famous poem by Alfred, Lord Tennyson "The Lady of Shalott" - click the image to go to the poem
Which was used in this book/movie***:
*,**,& *** So, I realize the music video uses the Lady of Shalott – BUT, I didn’t see the video until after I’d already made that association in my mind. So apparently I am not the only person whose brain goes there. Not sure if I’m happy or sad about that. Carry on.
Category blah blah | Tags: pictures,random | 2 Comments
October 21, 2010 by Blondette
There is a giant, angry rat. He taunts me. He waits for me. But he does not tarry while I work. He is gone when I am free.
Sadly, when I Google “giant rat protest in kansas city” the results are inconclusive. Is no one writing about this? HAS NO ONE SEEN THE GIANT FUCKING RABID RAT?! and the dudes with picket signs?
When I Googled “rat protest” I garnered more interesting results. Apparently, giant inflatable rats are not uncommon when protesting. In fact, it’s a been a union protest symbol for years. Just so you know, it’s never good to be startled by a giant rat while driving. A spider once dropped down from the ceiling of my car while I was driving to work and it’s some sort of miracle that I didn’t crash because I immediately forgot I was driving and panicked so the icky spider wouldn’t creepy crawl all over me.
I’m not entirely sure who or what the protesters are beefing against, but I’ll try to focus on the signs tomorrow – it’s just kind of hard to read their signs when there’s a crazy rodent on the side of the road – well, one that’s at least 10 ft tall and not dead or eating garbage.
Anyhow, I got tired of not being able to share the rat with anyone, so I risked life and limb to capture it with my iPhone while driving. Don’t worry, I swerved back into my own lane before colliding head on with a motorcycle. We coo.
Category blah blah, Video, writing | Tags: brilliant ideas,kansas city | No Comments