Yesterday when I walked into Subway, I was focused on getting a gigantic glass of iced tea. Up early, I’d had coffee and shopped by way from 10am to Noon- thirty and I was now very thirsty. My little sinus infection may have played a role in that thirst. (side note: after only a couple doses of antibiotics, I already feel better.)
I’ve never encountered a line longer than 2 people at this particular Subway, but yesterday I waited behind a couple, a man with two sons all decked out in baseball uniforms, and a mother with two young boys. My focus was quickly drawn to the mother and sons. For one, the smaller of the two boys was buzzing around the shop from the window, to his mom, to a table, to the cooler case. The older boy stayed with his mom and absorbed her protective, affectionate embrace. I could imagine what a tiring job it would be to be this woman. I view mothers and children with different eyes lately. A thin veil of fear and realization that you are in tune to someone else completely . You are never alone. Me? Can I do that? I’ve never doubted wanting children. But never before have a I realized how much you change your life for children. I watched a mother and father at Target on Friday evening – a 2 year old boy in one cart and a baby in another. The mother expertly divided her attention and spread her warm adoration to both of her children. This was a prettier picture. They wanted to get in the aisle where I’d stowed my cart (if you’ve ever been to the pharmacy at the Super Target on 152, you’ll understand why I would be stowing my cart in an aisle while I waited my turn at the counter.) I was next up at the counter, but I risked my place in line to exit the row and “go around the long way” up another aisle in order to let the family into the aisle. I thought of how some of my friends might react; probably wouldn’t be quite so accommodating. But, after all, it wasn’t “hard” to move and what would it have accomplished had I not moved? Maybe the family shouldn’t expect me to move just because they hadn’t properly planned or were logistically challenged and had chosen to use 2 carts, but does that mean I couldn’t or shouldn’t move. Digression.
The thing I noticed almost immediately about the mother at Subway? Though she was dressed in a simple outfit of jean shorts and a tshirt, baby weight still clinging to her stomach and thighs ardently, she was strikingly beautiful. Raven colored hair (looked like it was assisted) simply made up face, but the opposite of carefree branded on her face. She didn’t look like she knew she was a beautiful creature and she didn’t look “happy.” I pondered “how can I let her know how pretty she is without being creepy?” Wouldn’t that make her feel nice? To be noticed for HER.
I’d been at Old Navy before I decided to visit Subway, and I saw person after person who had some beauty that was likely not appreciated. There was a young girl in early puberty wearing ill fitting clothes that did nothing but show off her less than svelte form. But when you really looked at the girl, you saw she had luscious naturally blonde hair and an angelic face. This girl was a beauty. I felt a little sad for her because her mother was not setting a good example or helping her look her best. Had you put the girl in the little sundress that I was in line waiting to pay for, the first impression would have been completely different. From raggamuffin to lovely.
And before you say something about beauty being on the inside and it doesn’t matter what you look like on the outside, I cry BULLSHIT. You cannot simply ignore the sociological impact of your appearance and impression. However, you should stop and truly look at people. I’m not talking about always wearing the most fashionable clothes, always wearing makeup, or being done up. I’m simply talking about wearing clothes that fit, having confidence, and being comfortable in your skin.
I like people who have a sense of self. It is the defining feature in my friendships and relationships.
I’m still trying to figure out how I can tell people of their loveliness without being creepy. I’ll let you know when I figure it out – or I’ll creep you out.
