Saturday morning. Snow. Too much snow. Bright and glaring on my TV screen as I watch an “artistic” movie which contrasts the snow in a way that makes me uncomfortable. (PS. Unfortunately, I cannot recommend you view New York, I Love You) (I can recommend you buy a blu-ray player that allows you to use Netflix Instant Queue. Life changing. Thank you Bob! -yeah, I didn’t buy mine; it was a birthday gift from the world’s best stepdad.)
All the things I thought about this week are still hanging out in my mind. What workout should I do? Oh, I didn’t work out. I should send something spontaneous to my dad and his family out East. I should tell them how I feel. I should send something to my Oma and see how she is doing. I should let her know I give a damn and I think about her every day. I should call my mom more. I should clean a little bit. I should put the rest of the rooms in my house “together.” I shouldn’t eat the cookies. Dang it – I ate the cookies, but they were such a nice compliment to the coffee! Of which I drank an entire pot. I should work on having more sex. Oh, guess it’s been a while. Hmm. I should work on not embarrassing myself on my blog.
Knowing that my hormones are fluxing, I must continually repeat “I control how I feel.” I’m a big believer in cognitive behavioral therapy as a way of life. You feel something and you give yourself a chance to feel it, and then you say “Um, is this how I WANT to feel?” and you change it if it’s not. Because you can control a lot more than you think you can simply through your mindset and attitude. (it doesn’t always work and it’s really hard, like really hard, but it sure helps)
In this case, I happened to check my work email and saw a couple things that just hit me wrong and from there I felt the cortisol shoot straight to my belly fat. Shit. And then…”I control how I feel.” I bound up my stairs to shower and dress and say “F U snow! My ass is going to Sephora and you can’t stop me!” Because new makeup will help me control how I feel. X dollars later…I felt better! It worked! Perhaps I was influenced by Confessions of a Shopaholic…perhaps. But, it is unhealthy to use old cosmetics and what I bought is much better for my skin and I look radiant and my eyes pop and I feel pretty again.
And feeling pretty helps ease the knots and tears.
I love puns and coffee. This is the full picture that goes with the thumbnail for the post. It's my punny snowman coffee mug.
