When I can’t sleep, I compose. Once, I swear I composed an entire symphony in my N1 sleep. It may have been a dream mixing with the classical music station that I was fond of listening to before bed at that time of my life. Regardless, I often compose posts, conversations, and schedules when my brain is supposed to be slowing down for the day. Common problem for the insomnia driven – you are tired, but your brain doesn’t cooperate. About 95% of the time, once I write to you all (in my head) and put all my “to-dos” in order (okay, I usually have to go through it a few times so I remember and just out of pure anxiety), I drift off.
During particularly stressful and busy weeks at work, my dreams mirror my days and are cast with work colleagues, clients, and settings. So, no matter how hard I try, I just don’t quite shut off completely.
Last night, Saturday night, I stopped and reflected on my compositions. You see, most of the time, I don’t carry out three quarters of my “to-dos.” I become so one track focused on work that I do not keep up with anything else. And then I wear myself out thinking about it, feeling guilty about it. Imagine, I thought, if I were to just do one of those things. Imagine if when I came home, I took 15 minutes to do laundry, 5 minutes to clean the litter boxes, 5 minutes to clean the kitchen. Let’s just say half an hour of chores. Well, that’s not too much time to take away from my work and it could quite certainly be about the same amount of time my weary self lies awake composing.
So, that’s what I’m going to work on. I’m going to try and I’m going to see it reduces my stress level.
PS. today I scrubbed part of the basement (“Litterbox Corner”) and fixed the garbage disposal. (and I did laundry) I might deserve a pedicure, no?