How To: Win the Love of Katie Leas

My qualifications are pretty simple so you’d think I’d be attached, but apparently they’re not as simple as I think.

So here are the things that will win my heart and undying love:

1. You can fill in my trivia knowledge gaps. (sports, movies, and some music)
2. You have mad winter weather driving skills and can chauffeur my ass around town when it snows or other such winter storms invade.

Hmm, that’s about it right now.

Screw being funny. Screw having a job. Screw being fiscally responsible. Screw being interesting. Screw being attractive. (beauty is in the eye of the beholder)

Apply within.

Bonus points if you are willing to do the following household chores:

1. Put laundry away. I’ll sort it and wash it. You just have to hang it up or put it in the dresser.
2. Clean the litter box. Come on. No one likes cleaning a box full of shit and piss.
3. Vacuum. The sound still bugs me.
4. Handle routine car maintenance.

In exchange, you get all of the following:

1. I’ll cook.
2. I’ll grocery shop.
3. I’ll do the dishes. (I HATE hand washing dishes, but if that’s what it takes, I’ll do it. Because I love you.)
4. I’ll take out the trash.
5. I’ll do the laundry. (remember, you just have to put it away.)
6. I’ll sweep and mop.
7. I’LL CLEAN THE BATHROOMS.
8. I’ll clean the kitchen.
9. I’ll look pretty.
10. I’ll…wait, my family reads this. Use your imagination for #10.

Remember, I’m hilarious, sweet, and pretty smart. And I make my own money.

CAUTION! If you do NOT want me to fall in love with you, please do none of the above. Do not demonstrate superior trivia or winter weather driving skills. Do not demonstrate an ability to keep house. Do not in any way prove to be useful, lovable, or interesting.

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