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October, 2008

  1. Don’t Blame Pavlov

    October 26, 2008 by Blondette

    The worst music is playing- it sounds like watered down popular music melodies mixed into easy listening- the sort of easy listening that’s usually paired with meditation or rain sounds cds. The stuff no one actually likes but for some reason exists. I just finished the almond poppy seed muffin I was craving, and now I’m trying to figure out how to write something that will make people understand what it is I’m actually feeling.

    I feel as though I’m trying to reconcile my own health with my mother’s, balance my work and personal life balance, and maintain order at home. Sadly, I tend to really only be able to focus on one thing at a time. I’m not good at having multiple balls in the air. I’m either doing well at home or doing well at work- and sometimes I’m not doing well at either.

    My pants are a tad too short- likely because I now need more material to cover my belly so there’s less to reach down to my ankles. My mom’s recent diagnosis as a diabetic has me very concerned about my own health and behaviors. Not that I wasn’t already very focused on my growing need to purchase a size larger, but now it’s more than vanity and self image at stake. Gaining 10 pounds over the past few months has been the easiest thing I’ve ever done. And that’s in addition to the 15 I’d already gained. I’m up 2 sizes from where I was 3 years ago. If only other things in life were as easy as gaining weight. Not that I’m opposed to hard work (well, if it’s manual labor involving a house or yard I am.) I’ve been very lax lately with my eating and exercising habits. I feel heavy, not lithe and fluid. I feel a barrier between myself and my desires- all fat. Perhaps I am less in synch with myself because of this obstacle. Yet, I still like myself.

    I’m now at home and my brother is emptying my dishwasher and taking care of the dishes that have been in my sink for over a week- yes that’s right- OVER A WEEK. I started cleaning but stopped at some point and plopped on my couch for a Felicity marathon. He started the dishwasher, which means I will be delayed the shower I’m longing to take. (I got up and went out for coffee this morning without showering! yep yep!)

    I really suck at asking for help. Or reaching out to people. I’ve matured in a lot of ways, but that’s one area I still haven’t quite mastered. I’m not sure why it’s so hard for me. Maybe because in my earliest years the response was so negative. Not that I’m a “oh boo poor me I had a crappy childhood I blame my parents for everything” sort of person. At one point, I was but I’ve since learned that while that had impact on me, I can define who and what I am. It’s still hard when you’ve been Pavlov’s dog. I tend to need people to let me know it’s okay speak up. Or to reach out to me- but that’s not really fair because I do tend to hide things and keep my real needs and thoughts pretty close to my core. When I do ask, I tend to botch the asking. It’s this great quirk of mine that makes me irritated for my friends. I must really suck to deal with sometimes, and why would they even try?

    What I’m getting at– I want to have my shit together. I don’t want to be a fuck-up. I want to be normal and healthy, only I don’t know if that even exists.

    Category blah blah | Tags: | 2 Comments

  2. Felicity

    October 25, 2008 by Blondette

    In 1998 I started my senior year of high school. It also happened that a new show about a girl named Felicity Porter came out. Maybe it was the timing or my own personal angst, but the show soon became my favorite. I also already had an affection for Keri Russell (yep, I watched her in Malibu Shores–her hair was longer then.)

    Last weekend I watched the entire first season of Felicity on DVD. Six disks.

    Amazing the things that you notice 10 years later and 10 years older. I’ve now graduated college and worked for several years. The issues that are addressed in the show are things that I experienced too. From debating your major, to financial aid, to navigating dorms and university bureaucracy, to friendships, to simple right vs wrong. I’ve lived it. When the show came out I was awaiting the journey. I lived some of the issues parallel to the show- only I didn’t get to watch the show when I moved to college because the station that carried it disappeared so I didn’t see the episodes until a bit later.

    Why did Felicity have so many heavy sweaters if she was from Palo Alto, CA? Why is she seen in the first episode wearing one such sweater? Even if the semester began in September, it wouldn’t be cold enough to merit a sweater.

    I pay more attention to the characters- which one would I be? Which of the men in the show would I go for? In high school, I was all about Noel. But now? I don’t know. I’ve also always had a thing for Sean. He was so under-appreciated. I want to be a Ben/Felicity fan, but I’m just not. At least not in Season One. Eventually, I come around and like it better, but I just love Noel, but he was in a sort of helpless position. I mean, Felicity followed Ben to New York. You don’t just do that. You don’t just forget that.

    And Julie? Well, frankly, I was never her biggest fan. I like her okay, but she seems to end up being the victim. A LOT.

    From the First Season
    The Leading Ladies:
    Felicity, Julie, Elana, Megan, Hannah.

    The Leading Men:
    Noel, Ben, Sean, Richard, Lyn

    I care about people, I battle my path, I hold on to dreams (woo being a romantic idealist!), I’m likable, and I’m a little geeky. It’s funny I always thought I was a Felicity, but when I sat and thought about it, I realized I’m not just her, but Sean.

    Category Uncategorized | Tags: | 1 Comment

  3. Unconventionally Kate

    October 16, 2008 by Blondette

    ***This anecdote occurs in the past***

    Monday morning in our weekly staff meeting, I made a comment (okay, more than one but I try to make Staffing fun and interesting and not dry and boring, and I was trying to add value–and I like having an audience) regarding one key point in the chapter we were reading for this week’s Book Club. Our current selection is Stephen Covey’s “The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People.” (I’ve blogged about Monsieur Covey previously.) The item that stuck most in the chapter was the notion of creating a personal mission statement. Every business should be founded upon a mission statement, so why should a life be any different? I led the discussion last week and my comments were riddled with personal declarations and beliefs. I believe we have choices. We have control over our actions and reactions. I choose how something makes me feel (to an extent). I realized that I already have the cornerstone of my personal mission statement.

    The chapter begins by asking the reader to picture his/her own funeral. Aside from the lovely flowers, the melody of “On Eagle’s Wings,” and scads of reporters (oh, didn’t you know, I’m going to be famous some day) the church pews would be stuffed with attendees. But what will they say about me?

    “What character would you like them to have seen in you? What contributions, what achievement would you want them to remember? …What difference would you like to have made in their lives?”

    Upon reading this, I listed (in red ink in my book so I was serious) words I’d want used about me.

    • nurturing
    • kind
    • intelligent
    • gracious
    • vivacious
    • bold
    • reliable
    • humble
    • accepting
    • positive
    • proactive
    • charming
    • memorable
    • compassionate
    • generous

    Covey says about the personal mission statement, “It focuses on what you want to be (character) and to do (contributions and achievements) and on the values or principles upon which being and doing are based.”

    Laying in bed surrounded by my furry family, I thought about what is important to me. It’s actually quite easy.

    What I want to be (character): I want to be someone worthy of respect, trust, and love. I want to be compassionate and thoughtful. I want to be full of forgiveness and unconditional love, not just for others, but for myself. But I want to be strong and assertive. I want to find the balance between being compassionate, forgiving, and loving and being assertive. I want to be someone who values myself, but is humble. I want to be fun, funny, and interesting. I want people to seek out my ideas and opinions. I want to be creative and vivacious. I want to accept my faults, and make every effort to better myself. I must be earnest and genuine with myself and others.

    What I want to do (contributions and achievements): I want to be the best friend, daughter, sister, and someday wife and mother I can be. That means making a positive difference in the lives of everyone around me. I find value in my impact and connection with others. It’s probably why I like to play hostess. I want to be successful in a career or two. I want to be a published writer. I want to be a teacher. I want to be the best and the smartest. I want to be memorable. I want to know that I meant something to someone and somehow made their life better.

    the values or principles upon which being and doing are based: By what values and principles I abide: respect- for life, opinions, and differences, trust, responsibility, accountability, independence, interdependence, compassion, empathy, sympathy, integrity, loyalty, love, honesty, faith, hope, charity, forgiveness.

    With those 3 building blocks I have basis for my personal mission statement.

    Applying this mission with these founding three pieces is not easy. I struggle daily. For me, I find myself constantly battling my principles, questioning my beliefs. But the answer is always how I feel afterward. Has what I’ve done made me feel shame? If I feel anything but good about something, then I have not lived by my guidelines. I sometimes act in liberal manners but I always regret them because they do not match my vision of me. I falter and I question. I must consider always my principles and values and whether what I’m doing is in accordance with my mission; however, I sometimes question certain acts. This is not exclusive to me; this is human.

    Clarity may be needed; just because something may not be right for me, does mean I think it is wrong for all, nor will I judge others for it. I open myself up to new experiences and some of them stick while others don’t. And that is okay.

    There are items I’ve worked to overcome. I found myself seeking any male attention that was given for a few years, whether I felt anything or not. I was reckless. My behaviors didn’t fit my mission and I stopped them. Earlier this year, I stumbled and it was one of the most awful experiences of my life, but it serves to remind me and keep me from making that same mistake. But knowing what is at the core of that behavior, a need for attention, affection, and praise helps in stopping the behavior and keeping the promises I’ve made myself. I am unguarded with only a few people. People who have seen me at my worst and perhaps also at my best. People who, though they’ve seen the bad, still remain in my life. These people will always have my unconditional friendship and loyalty.

    My personal mission statement:
    I strive to be someone worth the gift of life. I strive to be true to myself and never put myself in a situation that causes me shame, guilt, pity, or self-loathing. I know that I have choices in everything I do and that while I cannot control everything (which I must accept) I can control my reaction and behaviors. I strive to make the lives of everyone around me brighter and happier through my own optimistic, hopeful personality; keeping in mind that I will be honest with myself and others. I want to ease the burden of others through unconditional friendship and love- helping them whenever they are in need. I will give openly and freely to others. I will not judge others. I will forgive. I will achieve my goals; career, family, and personal. I will find joy in each day and appreciate who I am. I will remember what I value in life.

    I challenge each of you to create your own personal mission statement, to ask of yourself the 3 items I’ve answered. Who are you? Who do you wish to be? Are they the same person?

    Category blah blah, Favorite Posts | Tags: | 2 Comments

  4. I Always Clean My Toilet For Guests

    October 16, 2008 by Blondette

    I find that a clean bathroom when guesting can significantly increase your level of comfort in a place that is not home. Your bathroom at home may not be super clean, but you expect more from an outside establishment.

    My pre-guest prep work is generally a tizzy of cleaning binge- wrangling laundry, cleaning the litter box, doing dishes, cleaning the bathroom and kitchen, and closing my bedroom door. This tizzy is usually conducted only hours prior to the actual arrival of guests- it just makes it all fresher. I generally try to vacuum (but I have vacuum cleaner woes- I’d love a shopvac if anyone is interested in just giving me one) and light either scented candles, or scented oil.

    Warm, inviting and comfortable. That’s how my home should feel to others. I also love “hostessing.” That is, cooking and taking care of others. I’m pretty sure I’ve written previously about my desires to have dinner parties (these don’t even have to be parties so much as, just a friend or two over for dinner.) People, I promise, I can actually cook. I just don’t do it for myself. Invite yourself over- just give me at least 2 hours notice. If you don’t, I’ll only be able to triage my apartment and cannot guarantee perfection.

    One recent hostessing decision I made was to actually clean my bedroom and let the guests have my bedroom. It’s just easier. The cats can’t stay locked in one room all night (they can open doors) and I tend to get up earlier than my guests. (what? you don’t get up at 7:30am?) Part of the reason I find myself up earlier than guests is purely survivalist. I must be able to get ready and settled (aka take possession)- shower, etc. If you really want to mess with me, get up before me and hog the bathroom. It will drive me insane, but I won’t be able to tell you so. (oh please please please DON’T actually do this.)

    I apparently want to be that crazy matriarch who cooks the holiday meals and hosts events. It’s true. I envision myself hosting Thanksgiving and Christmas. From the decorations down to the dessert – lovely tablecloths, garland, delightful aromas, merry melodies. ahh yes. And it doesn’t just have to be major holidays. I can create these scenes for just a normal day.

    So, come on over. I’ll make you some chicken or a roast. I’ll make you some eggs and some toast. And I promise to clean the toilet because I always clean my toilet for guests.

    Category blah blah, Favorite Memories, Favorite Posts, heart of the matter | Tags: | 2 Comments

  5. Everyone Likes a Quiz Thingie

    October 15, 2008 by Blondette

    My salute to writer’s block. I’ve taken some quiz thingies from the internet in hopes to entertain.

    How much was gas when you started driving?
    I have no idea. I suppose if I search the net I could find out how much gas cost in 1997. I know I could take $3 to QT and have enough gas to get to Leavenworth and back.

    Did you ever own a record player?
    darn tootin! and my favorite record was Rainbow Brite.

    What year did you graduate high school?
    1999

    Do you own any Oldies Music? If so, what?
    yep. I have classical (we didn’t specify what we are counting as oldies), big band, etc. oh and Lesley Gore. :)

    Where did you go on your first date?
    I should know this, huh? but I don’t.

    Do or did you own a pair of roller skates?
    i don’t recall. I may have when I was wee, but i could be hallucinating

    Have you ever played skip-it?
    nope

    Do you remember moon shoes?
    yes

    Did you ever do the Macarana dance?
    at my mom and Bob’s wedding!

    What was your first pet’s name?
    Smokey

    Have you ever dyed your hair a weird color?
    Sangria is about as weird as I’ve gotten

    Did you ever play four square?
    yes I did

    What about Hopscotch?
    yep! I even drew the chalk squares

    Or Dodgeball?
    yeah. not my fave.

    Have you ever won a goldfish at the fair?
    nope

    where did you meet your best friend?
    which one? I have a few from over the years. Current? work.

    Do you know how to do the Electric Slide?
    nope. though I had to pretend a couple weeks ago. I just kick and pivot and shimmy and sway.

    Did you like strawberry or chocolate milk better?
    strawberry milk has always repulsed me. Chocolate all the way

    What was your favorite food as a kid?
    hot dogs and grilled cheese sandwiches

    What was the 1st video game console you owned?
    well, my dad had a mini game but I forgot what it was. First one that was mine was the old 8-bit Nintendo

    How old were you when you got your first car?
    16

    What was your 1st job?
    other than babysitting? 1 day at Things Remembered. Then I worked at Hy-Vee.

    Have you ever had a fuzzy steering wheel?
    nope

    Have you ever made rice krispy treats?
    yep

    How old were you when you got a house key?
    no clue. I was a latchkey kid. pretty sure i always had one…

    Ever met Geoffrey the giraffe?
    nope

    Did the robots on the chuck-e-cheese stage scare you?
    heck yeah. even the pictures of the parties scare me.

    What was the first roller-coaster your rode?
    ummm, I don’t do roller coasters. I’ve only written the wussy ones.

    What is your favorite arcade game?
    :-S Golden Tee is okay. uh, yeah…race cars? I prefer darts.

    Who was your first sleepover with?
    Joanna?

    Have you ever had a really big stuffed animal from the fair?
    no :(

    If so, who won it for you?
    n/a

    What is your favorite ride at the fair?
    none. I hate fair rides. unless it’s on a horse, elephant or another animal. I once rode this octypus thing at the fair in Oregon and screamed, screamed, screamed to be let off. And Brian’s wallet got stolen and found in a toilet. It was a great day.

    What’s the best fair food?
    fried green tomatoes

    How old were you when you got your piercings / tattoos?
    got my ears pierced really young–then there was the repiercing. Tattoo #1 when I was 19

    What were your high school colors?
    red and black (and white)

    How long can you make it on a pogo stick?
    I do not know. Give me one and let’s find out.

    Did you have a red wagon?
    yes :)

    Did you have a motor powered fisher price car?
    no.

    Did you ride the school bus? Was it short?
    yes. at one point I also took a cab to school. Yay bussing!

    What was your favorite toy as a kid?
    Barbies

    Do you remember the ‘My Buddy/Kid Sister’ theme song?
    oh yes.

    What do you miss most about your childhood?
    nothing

    Have you seen every episode of Full House?
    it’s possible.

    Where there any shows you were forbidden to watch as a kid?
    not that I recall

    Do you have a limit as to how much tv you could watch per day
    nope

    Were you allowed to have sweets before dinner?
    no idea

    Did you parents tell you the walking barefoot, up and down the mountain in the snow to school story?
    um, no.

    Have you ever been in a perfe​ct relat​ionsh​ip?​
    nope. I don’t believe in perfection even though I seek to attain it.

    What was the last thing​ you bough​t?​
    a couple of candles from Yankee Candle

    Do you know when your fathe​r’​s birth​day is?
    Nov 29th, 1955 and October 13th, 1959

    What was the last movie​ you watch​ed in theat​res?
    Nick and Norah’s Infinite Playlist (I’m still buggin about the ending.)

    Are you a cuddl​er?​
    can be

    Do peopl​e hate you?
    most do not

    What are you liste​ning to?
    the ticking of my clock. it’s really loud. people comment on it a lot.

    What’​s the reaso​n behin​d your MySpa​ce song?​
    I don’t even remember what song I have on there now. Must be very meaningful.

    When was the last time you were extre​mely disap​point​ed?​
    well, since you say “extremely” I can’t say today. Yesterday though.

    Have you ever had a pet fish?​
    a few

    Is there​ a perso​n of the oppos​ite sex that means​ a lot to you?
    sure; I have a family.

    Have you ever felt repla​ced?​
    yeah

    What do you do when you have a bad day?
    eat whatever I want, drink, read, lounge, bitch to my friends

    Do you ever turn off your cellp​hone?​
    rarely. it’s usually only to reboot. I’m a bit of an addict.

    Have you heard​ a song that remin​ds you of anyon​e today​?​
    yep

    Do you liste​n to love songs​ when you’r​e down?​
    most songs are love songs. so yes.

    Do you say sorry​ first​?​
    yeah.

    Who were you with last night​?​
    my cats.

    Do you want to tell someo​ne how you feel?​
    I think everyone I know knows I feel about them–because I tell them.

    Would​ your paren​ts be mad if you were in a relat​ionsh​ip?​
    no, in fact, Mom would be happy. And she’s probably start buying more stuff for her currently non-existent grandkids.

    If you could​ cuddl​e with anyon​e right​ now who would​ you pick?​
    I am so NOT answering that. No matter what I say, I’m going to be laughed at.

    What’​s irrit​ating​ you right​ now?
    my nose is feeling the tickle of this new Butter Rum candle. There’s something in a lot of scented candles that really irritates my passages, but I can’t always tell until after I light the thing.

    What are you doing​ today​?​
    well, it’s almost 7pm. I putzed around and worked today. I’ll probably turn on the debate. If I get sick of that, there’s always movies.

    Are you tanne​d?​
    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

    What were you up to at 11 pm last night​?​
    Reading in bed.

    What happe​ned at 10:​00 am today​?​
    I was working at 10am today.

    How many hours​ did you sleep​ last night​?​
    8-9

    Does anyon​e call you boo?
    nope. but we used to call Brian boo-boo!

    Would​ you get marri​ed if you could​ right​ now?
    hmmmm

    Are you in a good mood?​
    i’m fair

    If someo​ne were to tell you they like you right​ now, would​ you care?​
    sure.

    Where​ did you last sleep​ other​ than your house​?​
    a hotel in MN

    Who was the last perso​n you cried​ in front​ of?
    no idea. I don’t typically cry in front of other people.

    Do you get 8 hours​ of sleep​ every​ day?
    heck no

    Are you a forgi​ving perso​n?​
    extremely

    Do you belie​ve what goes aroun​d comes​ aroun​d?​
    karma, yep

    Who was the last perso​n you ate with?​
    Tammi and Angela

    When was the last time you saw your dad?
    which one? 1997 and a couple weeks ago

    Are you mad about​ anyth​ing?​
    right now, nope

    Do you miss anyon​e?​
    yep

    Do you have any bruis​es?​
    yep, always.

    What makes​ you like a perso​n?​
    the person

    Do you sing in the showe​r?​
    wanna find out?

    Do you drink​ more water​ or juice​?​
    water, yo

    Are you the same perso​n as you were at the begin​ning of 2008?​
    no

    Is there​ someo​ne on your mind that shoul​dn’​t be?
    yep

    Have you ever kisse​d anyon​e whose​ name that start​ed with J M S C A N L K?
    I’m really bad at this game. Next.

    Have you done anyth​ing you regre​t in 2008 so far?
    oh my yes

    Is there​ any emoti​on you’​re tryin​g to avoid​ right​ now?
    i do tend to avoid sorrow

    If you could​ be hangi​ng with anyon​e right​ now who would​ it be?
    :)

    Do you belie​ve that if you want somet​hing bad enoug​h you’​ll get it?
    yes

    Do you have any plans​ for tomor​row?​
    I’m going to sit around and wait for the maintenance people to see if they really do come and change my air filter and check my smoke detector.

    Somet​hing you’​re happy​ about​?​
    autumn

    Is there​ somet​hing you wish you could​ tell someo​ne but can’​t?​
    yep

    What color​ shirt​ are you weari​ng?​
    pink

    When did your last hug take place​?​
    i know a couple of thursdays ago…maybe something since then

    Where​ did your last kiss take place​?​
    oh that I do not recall. I’m lame.

    Are you a jealo​us perso​n?
    yep

    Category Uncategorized | Tags: | 2 Comments

  6. Lover-ly

    October 15, 2008 by Blondette

    This weekend marks the peak in the KC area for fall foliage viewing (Channel 9 told me so. They also told me that we should expect our first frost on or around October 22nd.) I would like to drive around on Saturday or Sunday and “ohh and awww” and take lovely pictures of the autumnal bliss.

    I’m starting to feel warm and festive inside. I love that I have a little bit of nature here at my apartment complex. I used to hate the color red, but now I love it. It’s everywhere in my living room and dining room. I find myself liking a lot of things that I used to hate; pepper for example. I never used to put pepper on my food but last Saturday I put it on my scrambled omelette and last night, I added it to my corn.

    My lighting is muted; only a table lamp, a few candles, and white Christmas lights (I didn’t take them down after the holiday–they’re around the ceiling in my dining room/office).

    Each piece in my apartment means something to me. Nothing was just bought on a whim (okay that’s a lie, the teal urn by my fireplace was spur of the moment-knew-i-had-to-have-it). My rug, my lamp, my bookshelves, all labored over. Growing up I never really decorated my room or had a style. I’m pretty sure my home now screams “KATIE!” (those of you who have been here lately, what do you think? April, Tammi, Brian? does my apartment match me?) My bedroom is nearly complete- it still needs some work. I know I want a cherry sleigh bed, but I’ve not yet bought one. (apparently they cost hundreds or thousands of dollars.) I need a real nightstand and not just the cheapy table from Target. I want my bed to be sort of high off the ground- lots of pillows, fluffy, soft, and dream-inducing.

    In writing class, we’d call this post “stream of consciousness.” Its only theme is what’s going on in my head. Really, I tried to finish a couple of other posts but am struggling. Mightly. So, here I go. Just clacking away my thoughts. My cats are all snuggled up sweetly napping, I’m finishing the last of my third cup of coffee.

    Okay, off to meet Tammi for lunch!

    Category blah blah | Tags: | 3 Comments

  7. To Follow A Post About Spending

    October 13, 2008 by Blondette

    The bag I adore is once again price slashed online:

    http://www.oldnavy.com/browse/product.do?cid=37582&pid=594255&scid=594255012

    It might be time to buy. It is now officially cheaper to purchase online than at the store. (but maybe I should do a run through of Old Navy just in case.) ($19.50 + tax at the store $14.99 + tax online; and yes, that online cost already includes shipping.)

    I still want to try and make my own. To prove I can. It seems a common theme in my life (think being vegan, knitting, and other fine tests of strength.)

    PS. This bag totally goes with my bedroom decor. kinda. And I don’t really need it. *sigh*

    Category Uncategorized | Tags: | 13 Comments

  8. Bread

    October 13, 2008 by Blondette

    Not the white or wheat variety, the green stuff. It pays your bills, enables your vices, and drives you crazy. If money belonged to a generational group, it would be a Millennial. It begs for guidance, discipline and rules. It feels entitled and seeks to please.

    I wonder, where does my money go? I often times find I live paycheck to paycheck with no good reason. It’s simply because I fail to truly reign in my spending. As I paid bills this morning, alternately listening to my account activity on the hotline, submitting payments on the web, and tracking the debits in Excel, I wasn’t all that shocked to hear Starbucks, Subway, and QuikTrip repeated.

    I’m paid semi-monthly (basically on the 15th and 30th of each month- or as close as possible to those days.) I divide my bills per paycheck and even reorganized a few to make sure I’d have the cash to cover. I wish I was paid all at once and could just pay all bills straight off the bat and manage the remaining funds from there. But that is not the case, so I must work with what I’ve got. I have a spreadsheet that lists all expenses (fixed and variable) and if only I would stick to it, I’d be much more at ease.

    Much of my money goes to coffee, dining out, and gas. My money goes to convenience- LAZINESS- indulgence. It’s time to be more responsible. It’s time to make my own freaking coffee and take it to work (main reason I stop off at Starbucks or Latte Land is because the work coffee is awful -even when I am the brewmaster- and it takes time), it’s time to start cooking and budgeting meals (it’s healthier anyway- and maybe I can still walk to the City Market to eat.) Gas, well, that would involve carpooling which I’ve done before and found I still spent as much on gas.

    Where does your money go? Are you managing it? Guiding it? Nurturing it?

    Category blah blah | Tags: | 4 Comments

  9. Blondette Goes Brunette

    October 11, 2008 by Blondette

    My hair is a consistent bother to me. It was beginning to look ratty and terrible, so I decided I must act. Instead of spending boo-coo bucks on a professional cut and color (full foil), I figured I’d try messing with the color. Yes, your blondette has gone brunette.

    Here’s the proof:

    brunette

    more brunette

    more brunette

    more brunette

    more brunette

    Category blah blah | Tags: | 6 Comments

  10. Which Archetype Are You?

    October 9, 2008 by Blondette

    I look at life like a book or movie. I’m the main character of my book, and there’s a plot built around me. I’ve always believed I was one particular archetype character, but now I think I was wrong.

    I think I’m so smart. I’m not. One of my greatest personal challenges is to accept that I am human and make mistakes, but to also realize when I’m doing something that I will later regret–and then stop doing it. But, what if I am enjoying myself at the time? That ice cream tastes good! The booze feels nice! Those jokes were funny. right?

    After I read “The Devil Wears Prada” I started a post about the book and how I compare to the main character. I saw myself (only thinner and with more uncomfortable clothes) in that book–and a lot of it was skewed–as a young woman just beginning a career, you have to adjust your life to the new demands, timelines, and expectations (just as you do when you enter high school or college.) Prada is an extreme example. So, I’m not the Andie character.

    I’m not the heroine. I’m not the femme fatale. I’m not the spinster–or am I?

    In my mind, I see my book. I see my movie. At least some of it. I could sit here and outline–i’d have to flesh out all the details like how I met my husband, etc etc, but I could. I could write 80 variations. But then I come back around to, “am I the character I think I am?”

    My character lacks discipline. She knows what she wants and of what she is capable. She just doesn’t hold herself to her goals and standards. Thus, she does not achieve that which she seeks to attain. Because she’s not trying.

    Category Uncategorized | Tags: | 1 Comment

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