Why I Would Make a Bad Politician’s Wife

A random thought crossed my mind this morning on the drive to work. Tonight, Barack Obama was in Kansas City speaking. I considered attending, but realistically, it wasn’t gonna happen. I’m not saying I am pro-Obama; I’m just interested in listening to the views of the candidates. I also happened to see a billboard for a certain young lawyer a friend of mine knows from school, who happens to be running for State Representative. He’s at most 4 years older than me.

Anyhow, I began thinking about how I would be a terrible wife of a politician.

Here’s why:

1. My weight fluctuates too much. There would always be rumors about a “baby bump” or the media would just have a lot of fun calling me fat and comparing me to Monica Lewinsky, Tipper Gore, and Sally Struthers.
2. I’m sort of clumsy.
3. I have a hot temper. I keep it in check by not saying anything. That’s why most people don’t know it’s there. but…it is.
4. I’m a messy eater.
5. I like to drink on occasion. This sometimes leads to intoxication.
6. I wouldn’t be able to blog anymore! at least, not as openly as I do now. And, I’d probably have to destroy this blog. That my friends, is unacceptable.
7. My knowledge of US History is getting rusty.
8. I’m not a good speller.
9. I may be a libertarian. I’m not quite sure and it’s none of your business.
10. I’m not very photogenic. The photographic evidence of numbers 1, 2, 4, and 5 would be simply appalling.
11. I’m too helpful. I’d always try to make things better–that’s not generally possible in politics.
12. I’m too indecisive. I’d always give every angle on a problem and possible solutions without passionately supporting any of them.
13. I sometimes don’t vote. I leave for work before the polls open, and I don’t come home until after they close. And my office is 20 minutes away from my polling facility. I vote when I know what I’m voting for (or against.)
14. I’d campaign in LOLcat. “MY HUSBAND! YOU MUST VOTE FOR HIM!” “We can has constituents?” “Bukkets for All!”
15. New official mascot of something: the alpaca.

Be Sociable, Share!

•