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Soy-a Wanna Be a Vegan

September 5, 2007 by Blondette

It’s 9pm and I’m finishing my dinner of sweet potato (or is it a yam?), corn, and black bean burger on wheat bread (with a bit of Mint Carob Chip for dessert.)

This is day 2 of being vegan.

Being vegan means I discontinued meat and dairy from my diet. The Skinny Bitch Band Leaders asked that I give up coffee too. I declined their offer. I enjoyed 2 cups of java this morning, each with a splash of vanilla soy milk. Sorry bitches, but I find value in my morning Joe. (he’s hot and sure knows how to get me going!)

I began my morning yesterday with a breakfast cookie. It was delightful and surprisingly sustaining. And a cookie! At lunch (Day 1 of Being Vegan) I discovered that Wendy’s puts bacon bits on their Caesar Salad. I spent a good 10 minutes picking bits of icky swine out of my lovely lettuce–and mumbling about it. There was not a coworker on the first floor who was not asked if they had ever heard of putting bacon on a Caesar salad. I admit, I slipped up and ate the parmasean cheese that was on the salad, but come on–how much cow is in that? Anyhow, error on my part. :( I then found out that my great and wonderful Amy’s Soy Cheese Pocket Sandwich (I adore pocket foods) contained casein — a dairy protein or some nonsense. FIE! Foiled by lunch.

Thus far, I was not a good vegan.

However, I endeavored to persevere. I hit the Chipotle near my apartment around 8:30 (yeah, I was at work til 8 boo-hoo) where I ordered a burrito bol with rice, black beans, green peppers, onions, the corn stuff, and guacamole. Oh yes, guacamole is SO legal in the vegan diet. In fact, I bet it’s one of the 10 Commandments of Veganism to eat guac. I may be doing better at following the Vegan 10 than the Christian 10.

I went to bed full and headachey, but with a sense of purpose. When I awoke, I was still vegan.
The next day (that’s today!) Breakfast consisted of Ezekiel 4:9 (almond) cereal. It sort of looks like Grape Nuts at first, and then it looks like animal feed. But, I rather enjoyed my Ezekiel! Even when it ended up going down my shirt. Toss in a banana and some dried apricots and I was A-Ok!

Lunch was supposed to be pictured here, but my bluetooth devices are feeling a little hostility toward one another so instead I will describe it: I feasted on Tofu Family Style from Bo Lings. It was basically several phalanxes of tofu, broccoli, a few mushrooms, bamboo shoots, brown sauce, and brown rice.

Feeling proud that I made it through the day with no slip-ups (and if I made one you all sure as heck better not tell me) I set off toward home–by way of the Hy-Vee Organic/Health section.

There I picked up a few items while I pondered what to eat for dinner. It was that moment that I felt weak. I truly wanted to give up. Not even two days down. ugh. But the opening line of this post tells you that I did NOT give up. Though at one point I was going to eat a peanut butter and honey sandwich with Baked Lays for dinner. Did you know they use milk product in Baked Lays? Yeah, apparently that whole “cream” part of the Sour Cream and Onion is actually powdered milk. Damn it.

Now here I am. Still blogging and done eating. I leave you with a parting thought on this the second day of my great vegan Skinny Bitch experiment:

The authors of Skinny Bitch tell you to give up beer because it makes you bloated, farty, and causes you to suffer from fat pig syndrome. (paraphrased) But, BEANS, VEGETABLES AND FRUIT MAKE YOU FARTY and bloated TOO! Ever heard “beans beans the magical fruit the more you eat the more you toot?!”

Oh, pardon me!


4 Comments »

  1. Tams says:

    Oh Katie, YOU CAN DO IT!! But what’s wrong with peanut butter or honey?? Those are staples my friend!

  2. Blondette says:

    Nothing wrong with peanut butter and honey! but the peanut butter approved by the Skinny Bitches is about $4 per jar. I’m not sure my bread is approved either…hmmm.

  3. Brian says:

    All I have to say is fuck that shit! Where’s the beef!? You live in KANSAS CITY for Christ sakes! You know, the COWTOWN? Just giving you a hard time. Keep it up and remember to utilize the one-cheek sneak when you’ve consumed too many fart-inducing foods.

  4. Carrie says:

    Love the comment from Brian…especially the one-cheek sneak, haha….wow this must be tough. If calories alone aren’t enough to look for and count, now milk or animal product content too!! You can do it!! You’ll have to let me know how it goes…the book did sound interesting until I read your short summary, I’m much happier getting the summary from you than having to read through some of the details :S:

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